Everything Is Significant
by NeverThink
Summary: Alex has always thought that her imaginary world revolved around her, and who could blame her? But now she suddenly feels that perhaps the key to getting home isn't that clear, it's got nothing to do with herslef... but what must be done? Gene/Alex
1. Chapter 1

It was so late, her eyes were becoming tired at heavy, her mouth was dry and her head was so confused. Everything was so strange in 1981, everything worked differently and the people… well, the people were complete Neanderthals. Everything was significant though, that was something Alex had said to herself every night since she had bee blasted back to this weird place. Anything that happened had to be connected to her in someway, a piece to the puzzle she needed to solve, the key to getting back home to Molly. Thinking about Molly made her stomach ache, her head split, every amount of terrible pain. The thought of being away from her daughter for so long filled her mind with such sorrow, how could she live without her? She had to get back to Molly, get to that birthday party, and blow out those candles. Determination would set her on her course back to 2008, where the people loved her and her job was completely secure. Back to Evan and all the other little things she missed.

But how would Alex cope if she ever did get back home? Would she ever forget those faces, those people, the time and places she'd visited? Sam hadn't coped very well at all, his mind had been weak. He'd committed suicide… he'd not been able to confront his fears. Alex knew that she was stronger than that. She would be strong enough to get back, strong enough to return to normal life, strong enough to leave those people behind…

She would miss them, even if they were figments. Ray could be so obnoxious, but also sweet on the inside. Chris was funny, kind, caring, really sensitive. Shaz was almost like a sister, so daring and imaginative, full of hidden intelligence. And Gene… well, Gene was simply that. Gene Hunt. The Sheriff. The most insane constrict of them all, and yet the one that Alex feared she would miss the most. Just his face made her fall into a pit of different emotions, happiness, sorrow, anger, deep regret…

She would not be able to live without them either.

Maybe they would say with her, in her dreams, when she fell asleep. After all, they were her imagination, even if she'd stolen them. They were her bloody figments, and she would keep them forever.

*****

"Murder?" Alex looked for confirmation.

Although, she really didn't need it. The photos placed under her nose by Ray sort of gave away that it wasn't some elaborate hoax her mind was kidding her with. It never was.

The photo showed a man in his late twenties or so, sort of ordinary looking, a stab wound aching into his chest. There was also a blow to the head, a blunt object maybe? A hammer, candleholder, vase… Alex tried not to sting her mind with too much analysis. Her own situation was enough to kill her.

"Looks like a mugging." Ray pointed out, dropping the ash of his cigarette onto them insensitively.

"Has the body been identified?" Alex asked, putting the pictures onto her desk. "Any relatives, or…"

"Yeah, his mam dropped by the morgue," Chris put in with an air of calm. "Said he was called Lewis Trafford, worked up at old factory grounds. Salesman."

"Salesman?"

"That's what she said."

"Okay." Alex sighed and circled round her desk. "Nice and precise, then."

She exhaled loudly whilst fiddling with the buttons of her jacket, her heels clacking against the shiny CID floors.

"Where are you going?" Ray asked, frowning.

"To see the body. Mr Trafford." She called back over her shoulder.

"Why would you wanna see that?"

"Because…" She turned slightly, rolling her eyes. "I want to see if there's anything you might have missed – I'm not saying you lot are incompetent, but I need to see him for myself."

"Incompetent?" Ray repeated slowly.

"It means," Alex's voice was almost incoherent by now. "That you're bloody rubbish!"

*****

Alex was in the morgue, staring down at the dead man in front of her, the stab wound screaming out at her, the head injury asking to be analysed. It was so difficult to think right now, her head was hurting so much. The bullet. Aching, pain, agony. Dying.

Alex refused to believe that she could possibly die after all of this pointless journey. How could she? It wasn't impossible for people to survive a shot to the head (although highly unlikely). She might soon wake up, perhaps when she least suspects it, and find her beautiful daughter smiling down at her, the candles ready, still burning like her soul, her passion for freedom…

"What are you doing here, Bolly-Knickers?"

The gruff tone and emotionless croak was definitely that that belonged to Gene Hunt, her boss. She looked up, her train of thought heading into a wreck as his face entered her eye line.

"Um…" She suddenly didn't know what to say, he always did that to her. "Uh… just, checking up on this poor victim. Lewis, I believe."

"And I believe," Gene sniped back. "That you told Ray he was, what was it… oh, that's right. 'Bloody rubbish'."

"No, I said that was what incompetent meant…"

"And you called him incomp… incom… bloody rubbish."

"No!" Alex breathed out to calm herself. "No, I said that I wasn't calling him rubbish, I was… I was just trying to explain my reasons for coming here, and… oh, whatever."  
"What?" Gene narrowed his eyes. It was only when Alex didn't answer that he softened slightly in his features.

"So, uh…" He began. "What can you see that we can't?"

"Nothing, yet." She creased her forehead. "I'm not saying that I even will see something, I just wanted to look for myself. Is that allowed in this messed up place, or is it banned by the Big Book of Bad Bolly? Top ten things you can never do!"

"You're getting mouthy." He didn't raise his voice once.

Alex didn't notice this. She wasn't paying much attention to him anymore, just trying to figure out why the man may have died. After all, that was what was most important right now, wasn't it? But who exactly was Lewis Trafford? Why was he killed? Did this have any significance to her return to 2008? I certainly didn't seem so right now. It just seemed… normal. A normal CID day. No parents, no bombs, no blast from the past. No clown. This, she thought, was very strange. Usually by now, that damn awful clown would pop up from no where and tell her that she was dead, tell her that she would never see her daughter again. Sometimes, the most scary thing it would do was simply nothing at all. Just stand there, staring. Doing nothing. No emotion. No life. Almost… dead.

"You still here?" Gene asked suddenly.

"God…" Alex jumped at his voice. "I wonder how Sam put up with you…"

"Sam Tyler?"

"Who else!"

Gene grunted. He didn't speak much of Tyler, only that he was a bit insane. A good copper. But all that had been left behind in Manchester, everything to do with Sam. Including this mysterious Annie, who Alex had never gotten the pleasure to meet yet. Why did they never mention her…?

"What are you thinking?" Gene asked her.

"Nothing." She covered her tracks quickly. "Nothing at all. Come on, let's get back to the station."

*****

The station was in complete and utter pandemonium. CID staff were rushing in and out, papers flying everywhere and everyone looking like something had just died.

"What the bloody hell's going on in here?" Gene yelled.

The office fell silent and one piece of paper glided to a halt near Chris's feet.

"Uh…" He stuttered. "Just, um…"

"PC Terrance has been murdered, Guv." Shaz said slowly. "We just got the news."

Alex didn't know who the hell he was, but Gene didn't look too happy. Shaz burst into tears.


	2. Chapter 2

After managing to calm the station down slightly, Alex had spent most of her time trying to find out who PC Terrance was. A man, in his late thirties, never been in trouble being a policeman and all. Nothing really that would suggest he was a target for murder. And nothing to suggest that he was anything to do with the other killing. And, the thing that really annoyed Alex was the fact that this murder was also nothing to do with her. She wasn't being selfish or anything, but usually the things that happened in this world had some kind of meaning, a connection, with her past or future. Usually, she would aim to solve the crime in the understanding that it was one more step to getting home. But she had never even met PC Terrance. She didn't recognise the other man. She didn't recognise the murder technique. It was totally new, a case that she didn't understand. Why would she imagine this? It wasn't important!

Now, that did sound incredibly selfish. It may not fit in with the rest of her twisted fate but it was still murder. Two men had been killed. They had families, lives… of course they were important. It was just trying to convince her subconscious of this fact that was the tricky part.

"Right." She soothed, to herself. "Okay. Alright. Everything's fine. I'm okay, I'm very good."

"That's nice, ma'am." Shaz smiled admiringly. "It's good to know you know that."

"Thank you, Shaz." Alex nodded, not really paying her much attention. "I'm in control. Totally in the zone."

"Will you stop it with the insane act?" Ray snapped. "I got a hangover and a sore gob from a fat cow from last night, I don't need you banging on about you're crazy life story!."

A smoker's cough disturbed Ray's speech and the Guv stormed from his office, finger pointing directly at his head.

"Don't you ever talk to DI Drake like that," Gene warned. "I've told you before, she is your superior and you will respect that."

"Thanks, Gene, but I don't need your protection." Alex sighed. "I'm in control, remember?"

Gene didn't seem convinced. He slowly turned, eyeing Ray with contempt and then walking into his office. Ray himself didn't look bothered. He shrugged it off and mouthed a word at Alex, something along the lines of 'tart', but she really couldn't care less at this moment in time. She blew out a long sigh and returned to staring at the photos of PC Terrance and his family. Looked like such a happy man, wife and kids. Too young to die, too young. Too young.

Shaz came to sit with Alex, stirring some tea on the desk ready to drink. For a long time, she said nothing at all. Alex looked up at her once, a glance, quick smile and then back down to the reports and files. Shaz had grinned back, showing her pearly teeth and pretty, big eyes. The she'd got bored of the silence and dropped the spoon she'd been stirring with so that the tea splashed onto a report. Alex sighed but ignored it.

"He was right nice, ma'am." Shaz explained. "Really good bloke an' all. Worked downstairs though. You won't know him. Wouldn't…"

"Shaz." Alex looked up. "It's okay, really."  
"I know." Shaz nodded. "Just thought you might like to know."

It was silent again, except for the general chat of the office. Ray and Chris were re-telling a tale from Manchester to the eager Cockney force, and they laughed when necessary. Gene was sat in his office, throwing darts and smoking a cigarette. It was crazy that none of these people seemed to want to solve the case. Then again, she was sure they were all grieving for their fellow colleague in their own ways…

"…turned out it was that batty bird from that cult-shop, I just ran after her, like, not the first time I've chased after a blonde, lovely pair o' tits…" Ray was saying.

Alex ignored it. Always ignore it. Not important. Won't help her get home. Need Molly, need home…

Bright flashes of light blinded Alex, and for a moment she couldn't breathe. Then she gasped for her breath, blinking through the rays of light, trying to make sense of it. There was nothing but white, like some kind of heaven. She suddenly felt excitement run through her veins, a giddy thrill causing a little laugh to triumph over her fear. Was this it? Was she waking up? Would she be back on that boat, cold and lonely? Or in a hospital? Molly, would Molly be at her side? Was this really the end of the torture…?

"_We are waiting for you, Alex." _ The voice chilled her spine, so new and different. Not the clown from before, he'd sounded scary and powerful. This voice was very intelligent, but not terrifying. It was that of a woman. A kindly woman, younger than she. A nurse? Was this it? A hospital… possibly. So many options…

"…_waiting for you…"_

Another flash of brilliant light, another voice, another option. So much to analyse, to think about, to laugh about.

"…_waiting…"_

She was ready. She was ready to awaken. It was now, it had to be! Overwhelmed by the experience, Alex closed her eyes.

"…waiting for you to come back from la-la land?"

Alex opened her eyes in shock at the familiar voice. Shaz was staring at her, deep expression piercing into her own. She looked concerned and slightly annoyed.

"What?" Alex spluttered.

"I said," Ray snarled. "Do you want me to just sit here waiting for you to come back from la-la land! Come on, Drake, we've got work to do."

"What… but, I was…" Alex was extremely angry now. "I'm not the one sat there talking about bloody northerners and what they get up to in there spare time! I'm trying to solve this, I need to get home, I was nearly there, you broke it…"

"Broke what?"

"… I was getting home, I was there, I know it, you destroyed my chance!"

"What the hell are you going on about now?" Ray sniffed, trying to hide his laughter and failing. "Do you wanna get this murdering bastard or not?"

Alex didn't quite know what to say now. All the fight had been crushed from within her, like it wasn't even worth it anymore.

"Of course I do." She managed.

"Then stop acting like you're a mental patient. Stop going do-lally on us."

She sighed. Maybe DS Carling was right. Maybe she was just insane.

*****

"Okay, so same injuries. That gives us a link."

Alex and Gene were back at the morgue, stood over PC Terrance's dead body. Chris and Ray were supposed to come, but apparently they were too upset. This sounded totally out of character for them, but Alex suspected that they had some ulterior motive that would be revealed soon.

"Link?" Gene scoffed. "It's just a blow to the head and a stab in the chest. Loads o' people do that. Whack 'em down, slash 'em dead."

"Lovely." Alex whispered. "Anyway, there could be a link, don't shoot that possibility. Everything is significant."

"Will you stop bloody saying that!"

"What?"

"Five times on the way here. Twice once we got here."

"Sorry." Alex was wrong-footed. Had she been repeating herself?

"Doesn't even matter, just do what you like." Gene waved his hand dismissively. "My DI's usually do anyway. I sure can pick 'em."

Alex laughed, her strange short laugh. The type that you can't stop, and once it's out you wished you hadn't.

"What is so funny?" Gene demanded.

"You are." She admitted. "You say I wanted to come here, now you say you picked me. Something's keeping me here, and I think I know what it is."

"Well, you can walk out whenever you like." Gene shrugged. "Don't expect to be missed much, though."

"Oh, well I'll just go now, shall I?" Alex practically shouted.

How did this happen? A normal conversation with Gene could turn into a battle for pride within two seconds. It was like he couldn't stand to talk without proving a point that didn't even exist. One day, Alex wished that she could talk to him, just talk. A nice chat, just to know that everything was fine in his life. Like friends do. But she knew as well as anyone that it would never happen. On the other hand, she suddenly realised that something was keeping her here – or someone. With resigned hurt, Alex walked around the body slab and made a move for the exit, but Gene grabbed onto her arm. She looked up into his narrowed eyes and whispered softly.

"Let me go."

Now she didn't even know what she meant. Did she want him to let her go back to her flat above Luigi's, or was there an alternative meaning to her words? Everything was so confusing now, her head hurt all the time. She couldn't be dealing with this now.

"You're not going home until you've drank the entire storage of house rubbish served up by Luigi." Gene clicked his jaw. "You need something to drink. Then sleep. Come on."

*****

Alex was drunk. But she was sober enough to know it. Sat in her usual seating in the corner of the small wine bar, she sipped her wine carefully – well, as carefully as her clumsy, shaking hands would allow. Why did she let herself drown her sorrows like this? Beside her, Gene propped his elbow up on the table, holding his chin in one hand. He was staring at her with inquisitive eyes. She glanced at him, returned her eyes to the glass she held, then doubled back and frowned.

"What are you looking at?" She slurred.

"You." He answered truthfully. "You're pissed."

"I'm always pissed." She confessed.

"Alright." He nodded. "You're especially pissed tonight. I'm taking you upstairs."

"You don't have to hold my hand, I'm capable of climbing a few stairs…"  
Alex stood up to demonstrate, lost her balance and fell slightly, catching herself on the chair.

"Right." Gene got up and scooped her into his arms like he had done on her first day. Like he'd done when she was a child. She tried to protest but in vain. He wasn't listening. Even when he stumbled on the steps.

"You're pissed too, let me walk." She moaned.

"No I'm not. Plus, I'm better at it. You walk like a drunken tart in a drug-dealers brothel on the morning of a particularly amorous night."

"You and your analogies…"

"Shut up, Bolls."

They finally reached the top of the staircase and Gene plonked her down beside her door, reaching into her pocket for her key and unlocking the door. She muttered something incoherent and stepped through, stopping half-way in the doorway and turning to face him.

"Why are you doing this for me?" She asked.

"Being the gentleman." He shrugged. "Plus, you wouldn't make it half way up without falling to your death. As a DCI, it was my duty to uphold the law and… uh…"

"You ARE drunk!" Alex giggled. "I knew it! Then again, you like mumbling nonsense at me, don't you?"

"I'm not." He replied. "And I'd do it for you any night, just so you know. You know, I case you're… well, like this. It's a friendly gesture. Nothing else. You know."

"I know." Alex looked doubtful. "You're insane then. An insane figment of my, frankly, brilliant imagination. You're so insane that I forget all about Sam and claim you as my own!"

"Well I'm honoured." Now it was Gene's turn to look confused. "Night, Bolly." He added.

He turned, but she said his name. He looked back at her.

"What?"

"Would you?" She asked.

"Would I what?" He snapped, annoyed with her discreteness.

"Would you really do this for me, any time?"

"Of course I would, I said it, didn't I?"

He tried to turn again.

"Gene…" Alex called again.

He turned for the final time, with a sigh, the word 'what' on the tip of his tongue. But before he could say anything, she was right In his face, lips touching his, eyes closed in sweet happiness. He didn't know how to respond. So he kissed back.

In her mind, Alex was screaming at herself. What the hell did she think she was doing? This was Gene Hunt! The monstrous man who didn't care. The man who was so tough. The man she dreamt about at night when she felt so alone. The man that she cared for…

Gene came to his sensed quickly and pulled away, breaking the drunken kiss.

"Like I said," He managed to murmur. "Night, Bolly."

And then he was down the stairs quick as a flash. Alex thought about what had just happened, instantly sobered up. And then her common sense was welcomed back into her screwed up mind.

"Oh, bugger!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chris, Shaz and Ray stared after Gene and Alex. They'd just watched him pick her up into his arms and drag her upstairs. It was amazing how all three of them observed the growing love/hate relationship between their superior offices, but none of them had the guts to say a thing.

"I knew as soon as I saw 'em." Chris grinned. "Just knew. I've got a knack for these things,"

"Aw, that's amazing," Shaz smiled.

"Give over, I saw it first." Ray frowned. "I said to yer, didn't I?"

"No." Chris chorused with Shaz.

"Well I think its lovely." Shaz continued, pouting. "Just shows you that everyone has someone." She eyed Chris, her smile disappearing. Chris looked scared, but turned to Ray to shake off the feeling inside him.

"Yeah, but the Guv and 'er? Seems bit wrong to me." Ray shook his head wisely.

"Why does it?" Chris wondered.

"'Cos she's all poncy upper-classy, he's the Guv."

"Doesn't matter if it's true love, though." Shaz pointed out. "Like with age and that."

The others seemed to agree, nodding a little and going back to their drinks. Ray gulped down a full pint of beer (his party trick) whilst Chris and Shaz had their private staring competition. It didn't matter if they blinked though, it was just that they couldn't keep their eyes off of each other. Ray noticed and tried not to gip.

That's when Gene came down the stairs, looking flustered and wrong-footed. He grabbed the dregs of his wine, practically throwing it down his neck and shoving the glass back down with a loud bang. The others looked up at him inquiringly and he glared back.

"What?"

Then he stormed out of the bar. Ray looked at Shaz and raised his eyebrows.

"So not true love then?" Chris asked.

"Well, even people in love can get upset." Shaz frowned. "It's all part of it."

"How come you know so much about it?" Ray narrowed his eyes.

"Well…" Shaz immediately blushed. "It don't matter. Shouldn't you see if the Guv's alright?"

"Nah." Ray smiled. "He's probably been turned down."

"Not the first time that's happened!" Chris joked, receiving a look from Shaz. "Err… it's not very good."

"What are you on about?" Ray asked. "All you need is a good bird to fit your mood, and you're in."

"Don't you have any feelings?" Shaz sighed.

Ray didn't say anything. He pretended to be unscarred, but finished his drink and removed himself from the bar. He thought about the truth. Sometimes the truth hurt.

*****

Alex couldn't sleep. What felt like the entire world's weight was resting heavily on her forehead, pounding into her brains and causing a cold-sweat to ripple over her skin. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see Gene's face as he had walked away, the hurt in his eyes, the fear in his movements. Why had she done that? Why had she leapt on him and knocked him down when he was at his weakest? So Alex kept her eyes open to help suppress the memory as much as it was humanly possible. But part of her didn't want to forget. Part of her wanted to remember the way he'd responded to her kiss, the way he'd seemed to enjoy it at first. But part of her also nagged that this was the exact reason why she would never get back home. Emotional ties, that's what it was called. Because of this… this strange feeling she felt, she would never see Molly again. What was more important? Him – or her daughter? She needed to get back, but she couldn't just ignore him.

The thought of seeing Gene again made her migraine worse. She would have to enter the station tomorrow without giving anything away. If the others found out… reputation had nothing to do with it. This mess was all her fault, and she had to clean it up. But how…?

*****

It was surprisingly calm in CID the next morning. Everyone was at their places sorting out paperwork, with the exception of Chris and Ray who were no where to be seen. Alex walked in as usual, flitting her remarks of 'construct fantasies' just to try and sound as normal as possible. If she didn't say anything like that, people would suspect something was wrong. So, with the office being neat and strangely empty today, she took her place at the desk and bravely smiled at everyone who walked past. _Easy, now._ Alex thought to herself. _Don't act too different. _Not that anyone was taking much notice of her. This annoyed her slightly.

"Shaz, what are you doing?" Alex asked, a little too aggressively.

"Um, looking at some statements..?" Shaz half-asked, feeling a little affronted. "From some people the Guv interviewed last night."

"Last night?" Alex frowned. "We were at Luigi's last night. Impossibly late to handle interviews, the station wasn't even…"

"Well he did." A cockney man put in with a nod as he floated by. "Dragged some people in off the streets from the night of the murder of PC Terrance. Was a little angry, though. I thought he was going to blow up on them… well, more than usual anyway."

"Right." Alex winced. Had she upset him that much? It was only a drunken kiss, after all. Did she repulse him so much that he was now completely pissed off with everyone? "How is Hunt, by the way?"

"He's alright." Shaz tried to hide a creeping smile. "Why d'ya ask, ma'am?"

"No reason." Alex shrugged. "Does there have to be?"

Shaz and the cockney man looked at each other silently before continuing with their work.

"Okay." Alex sighed. "Breath in, breath out, you're in control, this isn't real. You're fine. Cool. Smart. Collected. Smooth, everything's fine."

No one was listening. Not even herself anymore. Alex pouted, staring into space for a long while before decided on something. She was Alex. DI Alex Drake. She could handle tough situations by simply turning them over in her head and figuring out the best possible solution from logic and facts. She was brave enough to step into the line of fire when need be. She was brave enough to conquer her fears and face up to strange new areas in her mind. She was definitely brave enough to stand up to big playground bullies like Gene Hunt. So why did she find herself avoiding him? A glance towards his office told her that he was there, sat in his comfy chair and smoking a cigarette. Okay, now she was calm. He looked the same as ever. But when she looked up for a second time, his eyes momentarily flickered towards her – their eyes locked, if only for a split second, then Alex looked down, unable to cope. She felt herself blush violently, tried to ignore it, pretended to scratch the back of her neck so that she had an excuse to look down at her desk. Her mind tried to think up other reasons for his angry appearance. Maybe he didn't remember anything from last night, maybe he'd been drunk and forgot. Maybe he was just upset because they didn't have a result yet. Maybe he was missing Sam. Maybe he was thinking about… well, anything. But maybe, and perhaps the most obvious maybe of all, maybe he wasn't drunk last night, remembered everything that happened and was totally and utterly infuriated with her behaviour. Yes, that seemed to fit in nicely.

Alex closed her eyes. The man came into view. She opened them, he was gone. Closed them, he appeared once more. Far away, in the distance, but getting closer. Couldn't see his face, but he was getting closer.

"_Alex." _A woman's voice called from somewhere far away.

"Yes?" She replied, screwing her eyes tight shut.

"_Ma'am, you don't look very well. Ma'am?"_

It was Shaz. Alex snapped her eyes open and clicked her neck up to where Shaz stood over her.

"Shaz… you made me jump." Alex clutched her aching head.

"Sorry, ma'am." The young WPC answered. "It's just that… you were so far gone, away with the fairies! I thought you might want something to drink…? Tea?"

"Yeah. Yeah, okay thanks."

Shaz walked away. Alex breathed out. Then back in. Then out once more. Then she stood up.

"I'm facing my fears, like I always do." She said out loud, receiving a few looks from the rest of CID. "You're not going to scare me away today."

And with that, Alex click-clacked her way over to Gene's office, bursting through the double doors… then immediately wishing she hadn't. Alex tried not to cower down as she moved towards his desk; he lifted his head up looking like a dog chewing on a wasp.

"Guv." Alex started, voice breaking. "I need to, uh… yeah, where's Chris? And Ray? They're not… where are they then? Gone? Somewhere… where?"

"Stop babbling, Drake." Gene spat. "What do you want?"

"Where's Chris and Ray?" She managed.

"Searching for the rest of the ugly bastards that might know something about the case."

"Okay then."

"Is that all you wanted?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you still here?"

Alex stared vacantly at him, then turned to leave, wobbling a little under the not-so-great support of her thin legs. Then her mind recovered and she realised that she was supposed to be standing up to him today.

"Hunt." She sniffed, turning back round. "I need to speak with you."

"Well go ahead then." He shrugged, emotionless.

"Okay." She half smiled, sitting down opposite him. "Alright. Okay. Here goes… I'm going to come straight out with it because there's nothing much else I can do. And I can't stand this silence…"

"What silence?"

"Listen! Look, I understand how this works. I upset you, you get angry. Give people the silent treatment. Typical human behaviour, only it's childish and I don't want it to get any further. So I'm going to say it…"

"Say what?" Gene snapped. "Childish? Untwist your knickers!"

"It's just that…"

The door suddenly flew open and Shaz came in, a cup of tea in one hand, a handful of statements in the other.

"Your drink, ma'am." She smiled. Then she saw the look on their faces and cringed. "I thought, cos the blinds weren't drawn…"

"No one enters my office unless I say so from now on." Gene narrowed his eyes.

"God, Gene!" Alex suddenly found courage. "Why are you taking this out on everyone else? Shaz hasn't done anything, no one else has done anything to you. Just admit that you hate me and get over it."

"Hate you?" Gene retorted.

"Yes, Hunt. Hate." Alex stalked out. "It's a word you of all people should be well acquainted with!"

Shaz stumbled out the door clumsily too. Gene was left on his own in the office.

"Hate." He repeated to himself. "Stupid bloody woman. How could I hate you?"

*****

Alex cried. She cried until her throat was sore, her eyes streaming and puffy. Why was she doing this to herself? Nothing made any sense anymore. She had to get home. But how? Nothing was giving out any clues. She was in the staff toilets, looking down into a sink, staring at its black plughole, her tears flowing down it freely. She wanted to be able to escape as easily as that. Just float away. She needed help, a clue. Alex lifted her head… and screamed.

There was a man stood behind her, back facing away. She could see his reflection in the mirror. And across the mirror, lipstick marks wrote out the words: **Home is where your heart is.**

Alex freaked, spun around. There was no man stood behind her. She looked back at the mirror – his reflection was gone, and so was the lipstick.

Alex was scared. Scared of the terrifying message she'd read. Suddenly her theory of emotional ties made all too much sense. And she couldn't help herself feeling low and painful, but then numb. Home certainly was where her heart was. But her heart was torn between two.


	4. Chapter 4

No amount of depression or crying was going to solve her aching heart, so Alex decided that she would try to carry on as normal as best she could to completely avoid an emotional breakdown. They couldn't afford her insanity right now, after all – two murders had taken place and there was a link. Well, three links. Link one: the blow to the head. Link two: the stabbing. Link three: they had both been committed within hours of each other. But as to why and who, Alex had no idea. The first victim, Lewis Trafford, didn't have any connection to the second, PC Terrance. No real connection, anyway. Nothing watertight. Well, they were both men, both in there early thirties, but both completely different. Trafford had been a salesman. Of what, no one knew, but Chris was convinced it was something door-to-door. Alex realised that this meant she would have to visit Mrs Trafford herself to get the correct evaluation.

"Why would anyone want to kill a door-to-door salesman?" Alex whispered to herself as she sat at her desk. "Not for money, the wages aren't exactly awing. Must be something, though. Otherwise, what's the point? It must be psychological." Alex wiped the papers from her desk quickly, suddenly tired of the search for reasons. There had to be a significance somewhere, but right now she was too worn out. Instead, she picked up her tea that Shaz had made, albeit it was cold, and sipped away happily for a moment, thinking about one day taking a relaxing holiday from all this mess. Slacken, loosen up, unwind, slow down. Just… calm. Everything that wasn't her, basically. But even now, as she thought about going abroad, how the hotel would look, what type of sunscreen to use… even now, she was detailing every last point. Why did her brain need to think so much? It was almost like it was compulsory that Alex Drake must analyse. She'd even said so herself when she'd first arrived. That flashback came al too sudden.

"_I must constantly analyse."_

Great, she'd promised herself never to stop. How could she break a promise to her own mind? Subconscious thought told her to keep going. She couldn't battle with something like that.

Another thing she couldn't battle with – Gene bloody Hunt.

*****

Gene had been sat in his office for such a long time that no one thought he was ever going to come out again. He was staring at the stupid computer on his desk, randomly hitting it and then cursing when he bleeped back at him. Apparently, it was getting smart-mouth with him. Bloody technology, it'll never last. Why would anyone want one of these clogging up there tables and being a great waste of space? No one would, computers wouldn't get far. Gene knew that for a fact. Anyway, he didn't need some bastard machine telling him what time it was. He had a perfectly good watch that did all that _and _looked good. Plus, it was mobile. Computers were too bulky. They'd never get mobile.

Whilst lost in thought, Gene's eyes wondered over to Bolly. She was sat alone at her desk, staring down at bits of paper and nodding to herself – as if she actually knew what she was doing. _No, wait. _He thought to himself. _Should I really think of her in that way? Why can't I just talk to her, tell her… but no. This stupid bastard always has to mess it up and open his big, fat, foul-mouthed gob. Now Drake thinks I hate her. How could I ever hate my Bolly…?_

A sudden shudder awoke the Guv from his daydream, and he was aware that he was staring and should probably look away before Alex looked up and noticed. Then she'd probably bawl at him some more and insult him some more, the problem would never get fixed. It was how it always was with his DI's. Gene risked a memory of Sam. Such a good copper, so nice, so… picky-pain. But picky-pain was good, it helped Gene out of so much, but now he was gone and although he hated to admit it, he missed Sam Tyler. More than he should. Gene always thought that if Sam left, he wouldn't be missed one bit. It was only some bloke. But no, they'd formed a close bond that really couldn't be broken at one point.

Then he had to drive into a bloody river and ruin the lives of all the people who loved him. Poor Annie…

Gene shook his head, shook away the memory. He abruptly remembered why he tried not to remember Sam too much. It hurt. It reminded him too much of his life back in Manchester. Of his wife. At one point, gene had had it all. Then Sam died and everything went downhill from then on. Who'd have thought that such a simple man would touch so many hearts without anyone realising until he was gone?

*****

Ray watched Chris from across the street, leaning on the Quattro and grimacing slightly. Chris was asking about some of the roughest people, earning glares and threats and all sorts. Ray had a feeling that it was only a matter of time and Chris would be seriously injured, but it was quite fun to what. The twonk.

Ray Carling wasn't a particularly secretive man until lately. Lately his mind had been wondering more than it had ever done before. He, Chris and Shaz had all been observing Gene and Alex's relationship, sharing their comments and ideas, generally being nosy. And it was throughout this new game of theirs that Ray realised something – he'd never actually been with someone that he properly loved. Because that just wasn't the way people thought about him. Ray saw a bird, he had her, then he never saw her again – everyone knew that's how it went. But now, as he got older and wiser, ray was beginning to regret his life-choice, big time…

*****

Alex came into Gene's office and smiled as sweetly as she could.

"Hunt, there's something bothering me." She pursed her lips, waiting for his expression to change into something of boredom. But instead, he actually seemed interested.

"What is it, Bolls?" He asked, apparently back to his normal self.

"Those murders." She started, surprised. "It's just that… I can't help but think that I've seen this before. His technique. Before, I was vague about it. I didn't think I'd seen it, but now I'm starting to wonder… what if it's a convict of the past?"

"Oh, I know the one." Gene nodded. "Mad man with Knife."

Alex glared. She'd thought he was being serious for a moment then. Oh, well, at least he was back to the old Hunt.

"Don't toy with me, Hunt." Alex smirked. "But I have seen this before, I just can't remember. You?"

"Me what?"

"Can you remember?"

"You can't seriously expect me to remember every bloke I've banged up in the last year or so, can you?"

"How do you know it's a man?" Alex raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"I don't!" Gene sniffed. "But it will be, I bet you anything."

"No bets, please." Alex put both hands up in the air. "I'm not open to any bets at all, it's sick."

"Betting is sick, now?" Gene threw back at her.

"Only when it's against convicts and victims, it's totally outrageous."

"Right, okay, no bets."

"Fine." Alex nodded. "Good. Also, I wanted to speak to you about something."

Gene stuck his head out abnormally in a 'go ahead' gesture. Alex walked closer and crouched down, leaning her arms on the desk so that she was head height with him as he sat on his chair. He hid a smile.

"About… last night." Alex tried. "I didn't… I mean, I wasn't… I was under the influence of alcohol and I didn't mean it. At all. You were right to stop me before it got… out of hand."  
Gene looked a bit innocent now.

"It was just a kiss." Alex pressed.

"Just." He exaggerated.

"Yes. A silly kiss that didn't mean anything."

"Okay." He puffed out, reaching for a cigarette. "As long as the others don't find out, then I'm okay with that."

*****

"You are kidding me, they actually… did it?"

Shaz giggled at Chris, who had just come back from the streets with Ray.

"yeah, I over heard them talking in his office." She continued her gossip happily. "Didn't bother closing the blinds or anything, talking really loud an' all. I don't think the Guv knows that it's not exactly soundproof, but…"

"Yeah, yeah," Chris sniffed. "But get to the good bit. They actually… you know, kissed?"

Shaz nodded. They both burst into a fit of giggles like two teenagers.

"But the Guv don't want it to get around, so keep it quiet." She ordered.

"Yeah, sure."

Five minutes later, Ray found out. Chris had been laughing and he pressed for information. Poor Chris had to tell him before his head got flushed down a toilet.

Ten minutes later, a few of Ray's cockney friends heard that Alex had got in bed with the Guv.

Twenty minutes later, the entire CID was under the impression that Alex and Gene were now and item.


	5. Chapter 5

"Well, according to my esteemed colleague over here, the search for the killer should be all too easy!" Gene addressed the entire CID. "After all, all we're looking for is a man with a knife. Shouldn't be too difficult in a city like this."

"I didn't say it would be a narrow search, Gene." Alex sighed. "But it should be relatively easy. All we need to do is go through all the files on knife-crime…"

"Oh yes. Easy! It's not as if we've banged up at least a hundred knifers, is it…?"  
"Oh please, Gene, do shut up. I don't know how you don't get sick of hearing your own voice."

"Don't challenge me, Drake, or I'll… oi, what you lot looking at?"  
Gene abruptly ended the argument, staring into the audience of officers with his bottom lip sticking out in anger. They were all looking directly at the two of them, ears listening a little too over-eagerly. Shaz seemed to blush, and she elbowed Chris in the back as she walked past. Chris made an 'ow' noise and rubbed his bruise, giving Ray's the evils. Ray shrugged, apparently not too fussed. Alex observed them carefully, her eyes glazing over them like powerful stabs of electricity, until she finally rested them over Chris. Chris gulped – he knew what was coming.

"Chris," She said, sweetly. "Can you tell me what on Earth is going on?"

"What's going on where, ma'am?" He asked dumbly, scratching the back of his neck.

"Nervous, Chris?" Alex asked, narrowing her eyes. "Don't be shy, just tell me, share with us."

Ray let a laugh slip and Alex glared at him. "Now, Ray, don't put him off."

No one said anything. Chris's eyes darted about the office as if looking for help that no one was willing to give. Ever Shaz was beginning to find it amusing.

"Well, go on!" Alex insisted.

"Spit it out, you bunch of nancy pillocks!" Gene shouted, and everyone seemed to straighten up to attention.

"um…" One cockney fellow put a hesitant arm in the air. Alex nodded at him, allowing him to speak. "…its just that, well… I'd like to congratulate you two on behalf of… err, everyone… it was Ray who told us…"

Alex, confused, let her gaze fall onto Ray, raising one eyebrow. Ray didn't seem bothered. He sniffed loudly.

"I told 'em 'bout you an' the Guv havin' a bit o' fun in the sack."

Alex's other eyebrow raised. Gene's were practically at his hairline. They both looked at each other, mouths open in apparent shock, then back at the rest of the room. Shaz was glaring even harder at Chris.

"That's not what I said!" Chris complained to Ray. "I dint' say nothing 'bout 'em havin' it off!"

"It's what I heard." Ray smiled smugly to himself.

"Chris, you promised not to tell anyone…" Shaz began.

"My head was in a toilet," Chris explained. "I couldn't risk it…"

"But I said not to. How can I ever trust you now?"

"Aw, come on, babs…"

"Will you lot shut the hell up!" Gene yelled. The station fell silent. Even poor Viv, who'd only just walked in, straightened up and hid himself by the doorway in case of injury. "I don't know who the hell told you any of that shit, but I can assure you, the day I lay my hands on that tart will hopefully be a last request of mine on the day I bloody die."

Alex was still gob-smacked. She looked from Gene to the others, and back again, his harsh words having no effect on her. She was only acutely aware that someone was dragging her away, then that the noise of CID had somehow been muted. She finally caught her vision and noticed that she'd been thrown into Gene's office, who was now sat at his desk with his head in his hands.

"A little thing called reputation, Bolly." He coughed. "Been ripped to shreds before my very eyes, just now! Why the bloody hell did you tell a single soul?"  
"I didn't!" Alex shrieked. "Don't blame this on me, I didn't tell anyone anything… about any kiss! I don't know how anyone found out, okay? Don't try to pin this one me, you lunatic.."

"Lunatic?" Gene creased his brow. "I'm not the one trying to get a name for myself!"

CID was watching, they could hear everything. Shaz was right, Gene needed to invest in soundproof windows.

"It was a drunken mistake, Gene." Alex tried to calm herself. "Why would I want to tell anyone? 'Oh, hey, I'm Alex Drake. Guess what? I snogged Gene Hunt and I'm proud!' Oh, I don't think so."

"Bolly…"

"And now somehow they all think I shagged you!" Alex continued having her meltdown. "Well I guess that's great for you-"

"Listen, Drake," Gene stopped her mind-rant. "If you want to fantasise over having me, that's fine…"

"What?"  
"…just don't tell everyone else! It's the one thing I asked you to do."

The door swung open a little and Shaz poked her head through.

"Err… Guv?" She winced.

"Can't you see us talking, sweetheart?" Gene snapped. "Lips move, words come out, you don't stick your nose in."

"Yeah, but I wanted to tell you something…"

"What is it, Shaz?" Alex asked, happy to be interrupted.

"It's just that, well, it was me who told everyone." Shaz blushed. "I heard you two talking about… you know… and I told Chris. But that's it, I told him not to say anything, but then Ray told everyone, and…"  
"Wait, wait, wait." Gene stood up. "It was you?"

"Yeah…"

*****

Alex struggled to catch up with Gene as he stormed towards the Quattro, his mood evident. But that didn't stop her. She skipped down the station steps, hair bouncing on her shoulders.

"You can't just fire Shaz for that, it's not fair!" Alex protested.

"I didn't fire her." Gene's voice was shouty, even though he wasn't shouting. "I told her she wasn't welcome in my station."

"You fired her!" Alex scolded. "Plain and simple."

"Fine." Gene turned on the spot so quickly that Alex almost knocked into his face. Her lips inches away from his… memories flooded back… "I won't fire her. She can keep her ruddy job. So long as you remind her of the rules. Now leave me alone, and sort out this case!"

*****

The walk back into the station was the most embarrassing thing Alex had done in a long while. Everyone was staring at her, couple people stopped to congratulate and she couldn't even be bothered to correct them. Everything had happened so fast, five minutes ago they were arguing over the killer. Now Gene had buggered off and left her in charge, whilst the rest of the station was intent on celebrating their new found happiness. As she moved her way past the front desk, Viv stopped her abruptly. She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up one hand and pulled a face that was meant to read 'i'm not here t judge'. She let him speak.

"Got some information on recent knife crimes." He explained, handing her the files. "And some not so recent. But there's only one bloke who's crimes fit the case we're stuck on now. Lesley Bourne."

"Right, thank you." Alex felt a wash of relief. "This is very helpful; with this information, we might actually get some where."

"Yeah, but there's one problem." Viv pressed. "This guy's a nutter. Murdered his wife and served 20 years. This guy is obsessed with sins and jealousy, it's why he did it, apparently. According to his signed confession."

"Confession?" Alex wondered aloud. "He actually confessed? Well that's brilliant, do you have his statement?"

"Both of them." Viv smirked. "He was let go once because we thought he was innocent, then brought him back in again. Took the Guv ages to collar him."

"Well, pass everything straight to me. It seems Mr Hunt is on a warpath, don't cross him."

Alex smiled despite herself, opening the file feebly with one hand whilst protecting the falling ones in the other. A photo stuck out of it, the image of a man in a dark trench coat and… Alex clutched her head woozily. As she blinked, her eyes fuzzed and watered, her stomach felt like it was spinning and she couldn't focus right. A flashback flooded into her memory, the man, the lipstick, the message on the glass. And then everything went dark.

"Ma'am? Alex! DI Alex Drake, this is Viv, you alright, ma'am?"

Alex opened her eyes to find herself sat near the front desk, a few uniformed officers surrounding her. They dispersed as she sat bolt up, her eyes searching for something in the distance that the others obviously couldn't see. "You okay?" Viv asked once more.

"Yes!" Alex shouted. "I can get home!"

*****

Alex sighed, coming through the CID office where Shaz was packing up her things and throwing Chris off every time he tried to comfort her.

"I wouldn't say no to him." Alex warned. "You may never find another decent bloke like him, Shaz."

"Decent? I lost my job 'cos of him." Shaz wiped a tear.

"Oh no, Shaz, you're job is safe." Alex assured her.

"Oh, fab!" Chris didn't expect Shaz to jump on him, but he held her embrace with a cheery smile anyway.

Alex envied them so much. Young, in love, completely lost to the trauma of everyday life. So carefree. It had been a while since Alex had felt that.

"'Sup, ma'am?" Shaz asked, reading her mood instantly.

"Oh, nothing." Alex shook her head.

"Missing the Guv, eh?" Ray asked with a sneer.

"Leave it out. Actually, no, I need you."

"What, again?"

"Yes. Come with me, Raymundo, you're just the person I've been looking for…"

*****

Ray's smirk had widened throughout Alex's speech with him in the radio room until it had finally stretched enough to be classed as a goofy grin.

"You want me to pose as your 'usband?" He repeated slowly, only just keeping down certain facial reflects. And others.

"Just for a couple hours, yes." Alex nodded. "Now don't get any funny ideas. We're going to visit a Mr Bourne, Lesley. Now, I knew him… in the future… I will know him, then. He is a cold blooded killer, but no one will know why. Maybe finding the key to that will help me find a key to getting back to Molly."

Ray didn't seem to be listening. He was already reaching for his jacket and sticking an unlit cigarette into his mouth, nodding and 'mhmm'ing as she spoke. Alex found this extremely off-putting and very agitating. Didn't he care about her freedom from this hellish place? Then again… Alex felt woozy once more. Every time she'd tried to capture a reason for her imprisonment here, she was never even a tiny bit closer to home. Why was she still trying? Her parents had been the main reason before, but she hadn't managed to save them and so never got home again. But maybe if she saved the future from this madman, maybe… maybe her reason for existing here was to make a difference here… This reminded her of Sam, which shocked her slightly. In his tape recording, Sam had described his surroundings and the people he'd met and known, but also his suspicions for being there. He'd said that he'd thought it was to make a difference. He'd stated that he'd thought that if he could save people, he'd save himself. Maybe that was always the way home.

Alex shook her head, her beautiful brown hair baying around her shoulders. Ray was staring at her, puffing out smoke. Everything she had just thought had taken about a millisecond, but she still felt conscious that she had kept him waiting.

"We going or what?" He asked, grabbing her by the waist. She tried to pull him off. "Eh, I'm you 'usband, remember? Gotta make 'im jealous."

"Don't you mean the rest of the station?" Alex replied dryly, shifting herself away from him. "Save it till we get there. I've the address in my breast pocket – "

Ray reached forward.

"No, I can get it myself thank you." Alex narrowed her eyes. "Now, Gene has taken the Quattro. We're going to have to walk."


	6. Chapter 6

The walk to Lesley Bourne's house was a very uncomfortable ordeal for Alex. Ray didn't talk much, only gently inhaled his cancerous smoke, being careful not to blow it out onto her. This was a kindly act that she didn't even notice, so half of the time he didn't know why he was still doing it. She didn't seem to like eye contact, maybe even the thought of being near him, but Ray was determined not to let this discourage him. Alex herself was busy trying to form a conversation that didn't end in 'well that's nice' as all of their previous ones did. It hadn't seemed like a long way to walk before, but under the pressure of trying to look happy, Alex found it was such a drag. It wasn't the company of Ray that made her miserable, it was just the thought of… well, it seemed silly when she thought about it properly… but the thought of Gene being on his own. The thought of him sat in his car doing nothing whilst his anger flooded out of his system. It didn't seem fair that she was allowed to calm down amongst the company of friends and colleagues while he got the company of his whiskey flask.

"What we gonna say when we just turn up to 'is 'ouse, like?" Ray suddenly sniffed, startling her slightly.

"I don't know," Alex realised. "We need a plan, don't we?"

Ray raised his eyebrows in a 'what do you think' manner, dropping his cigarette to the ground and grinding his heel into it's ashes. Alex thought about it for a moment, contemplating the idea of just leaving it until Gene was back… then she shook her head and came to her senses again.

"Here, hold this." Alex forced her bag into Ray's arms before he even got to comment. "I just need to find… the.. file… ah-ah!" She finished fiddling about and dived into the file, searching for a particular page, a particular entry. "It say's somewhere in his first statement that he was 'at The Horses Head' pub' on the night of the murder. He goes onto say that he 'goes there regular, every day around lunch time for the darts session'. All we have to do is go there and pose as the couple, get to know him."

"Darts?" Ray's eyes lit up instantly. "Consider it done."

Alex smiled at his devilishly and began to walk away, swinging her hips sexily as she always did when she'd finally got a result. For a moment, Ray stood there watching her rear end. Then he looked down at the bag in his hand before running to catch up.

"I think this'd suit you more…"

*****

Gene was alone as Alex had predicted. But he wasn't angry. He'd never been angry in the first place. He was hurt. But the Gene Genie had got out of there before anyone would notice and his reputation was destroyed further. Now, sat in his Quattro with only himself as company, he stared through the window at the Thames, thinking about how different things would be if he wasn't here right now. How different things would be if he hadn't moved to London. How different things would be if Sam had never died. Gene thought about Sam more than he dare admit, but in all honest truth he really did miss that picky pain in the arse.

And Alex – God, that damn woman – she was messing with his mind. Before she'd come along, he was quite happily a gruff bloke with a certain way of policing. He was known for his anger problems, impatience… he was the Sheriff. And then Alex Drake had swooped in, spun his world around. She was the most annoying, nit-picking person he'd ever met – but in the pit of his stomach he knew that somehow along the way he'd managed to… no, he dare not even think of the words. All he knew was that she sent his mind and his heart on a wild ride. And he couldn't take it sometimes. Especially not today, when he actually heard how it sounded. The sentence 'the Guv and ma'am' didn't seem to fit. She was a queen compared to him. It was all wrong. It would never happen. He would never be good enough for a toff-school graduate such as DI Alex Drake.

*****

The Horses Head was a surprisingly big pub, and yet only a small handful of people were sat there, slowly getting pissed. About five lazed about the bar, leaning heavily on their pint glasses and babbling away to anyone who'd listen, about their terrible lives and ungrateful wives. Some things never changed. Two more people were just entering the male toilets, one coming out, one person at the jukebox applying 'Love On The Rocks' by Neil Diamond. The rest of them (about six) were at the dart board, throwing aimless and emotionless shots, never cracking a smile and gulping at their pints every so often.

"Let's get this party started for them, shall we?" Alex sighed, moving towards the bar.

"Bring in the pints, then." Ray laughed, moving towards the darts board.

"Remember, we met in…"  
"…the back of your car, I know."

"I still can't believe I let you talk me into that."

"It must be me obvious charm."

"Mm… must be."

Alex let Ray drift off into his game whilst she settled in into a seat between two old men. The bartender came up to her, no smile, no enthusiasm. Alex tried her hardest to chirp him up by leaning on the bar in such a way that her cleavage was highly noticeable. Much to her annoyance, he didn't even blink.

"Hello." She tried instead. "Um… my husband and I are sort of new to this area and was wondering… is this the right place to be?"

The bartender shrugged. "S'okay."

"Right, thanks." Alex nodded to herself. "Okay. Well I guess a red wine and a pint of bitter then."

The sound of Ray's loud voice made Alex turn her head quickly. He was laughing with another man… Alex's eyes blurred once more… then they focused… Lesley. Well, at least he was on the right tracks. Alex took the drinks over to a table close by and sat down, smiling up at Ray. He looked down, then carried on, but a knowing look from Alex and a silent threat made him shut up and reach for his pint.

"Ah, this is who I was on about." He clicked his tongue. "Alex. Me wife, lovely lass, int she?"

"Lovely pair an' all, you were right." Lesley noted. Alex gave Ray another silent threat but smiled.

"Why thank you, Mr… err?" She trailed away.

"Bourne." He took her hand and shook it, very manly like. "Actually call me Lesley, Mr Bourne sounds too personal and businessman."

"Oi, Lez!" A man from behind shouted. "another game?"

"Yeah!" Lesley shouted back, and then turned to Ray. "You want in?"

"Sure." Ray finished off his pint, wiped his mouth and grabbed three darts. "I'm game."

*****

"When do you think the Guv's gonna be back?" Shaz wondered aloud, moping around the station.

"Dunno." Chris stuck out his lip in thought. "Can't do much wi'out 'im though. Or DI Drake."

"We could make our own investigation!" Shaz laughed delightedly.

"Yeah!" Chris agreed with a smiled. "An' we'd have him bagged before any o' them lot."

"Yeah," Shaz nodded. "I hope DI Drake's alright with Ray…"

"Yeah, they'll be fine." Chris soothed her. "Don't worry. He's not a proper cop killer yet, we don't even know if he's the one what did it."

"And Ray'll sort 'im out if anything bad's gonna happen. I just worry, is all…"

At that moment, Gene Hunt came into the room casually, taking off his jacket and banging the door to his office so that the 'Manc Lion' poster almost fell off.

"Well he's back at least," Shaz commented. She slipped away and knocked on his door, remembering his last little annoyance at her simply walking in.

"What?" Gene barked.

"Can I come in, Guv?"

"Hmm."

"Just wondered if you wanted owt?" Shaz asked, innocently.

"No." Gene answered shortly. "Now bounce your little bum out of my office before I change my mind about your current position, vamoosh!"

Shaz nodded and made to leave, but Gene got up and grabbed her wrist quickly.

"Where's Drake?" He ordered.

"Out with Ray, gone to catch the murderer."

"With Ray? Where?"

*****

Alex had never been so bored with an undercover operation before. Shed been in stake outs. She'd pretended to be a dinner lady and she'd even found herself a bus driver. But nothing compared to the ultimate loneliness and boredom of sitting at a table on her own whilst her 'husband' guttered down the drinks and won match after match of darts. This must've been hell, that was her conclusion. Finally, she found her and Ray on their own as the other men and Lesley moved to get more drinks in.

"Going well so far, innit?" Ray winked.

"For you, maybe." Alex muttered. "When is something going to happen? We need confirmation that this guy could be our killer. Jealousy, Viv said. We need to hit that criteria… I know. I'll go flirt with the bar steward, you pretend to be jealous. See his reaction. If he looks like he's gonna flip, shout me."

Ray gave a massive sigh. "How come you get to do all the flirting?"

"Well, I don't see any beautiful women in here, Carling." Alex sniped. "Unless you want to try your look at the hairy man with the false tooth, be my guest!"

"Alright, alright, only saying…"

"Well keep it to yourself." Alex tutted. "Here he comes. Time for me to work the old Drake magic."

She sauntered away shaking her hips once more, and as she moved past Lesley he muttered something along the lines of 'lucky man'.

The barman was now wiping a glass down with a towel, seemingly bored. Alex pitied him – who would want his job?

"Hello again." She smiled sweetly. "Can't get rid of me, can you?"

Ray watched from the dartboard, trying his hardest not to laugh as Alex pursed her lips and shook her hips. It was quite comical to him, but he knew he had to look annoyed.

"Bloody women." He managed not to laugh. "Always in it for the lads."

"Hmm?" Lesley turned his attention, throwing his last dart and scoring 25 points. "Oh. Yeah. Distractions, eh? Can't keep them down."

"Aye." Ray nodded, not knowing what else to say. It didn't matter anyway, Lesley spoke for him.

"Anyone who is unfaithful will be punished for their sins anyway. It's like that with anyone… its just not right. I was cheated, once. It cost me my life, my soul. So I sorted it out. I'm still sorting it out."

Ray nodded again, trying his hardest not to let his jaw drop too low. "Uh, yeah. I… agree. I hate anyone who int proper faithful an' all that. Just does my nut in. She'll get what's coming to her, I bet."  
Suddenly, Lesley cracked a huge smile. "Don't worry 'bout it, mate. Your lass will be punished, I'll make sure about that…"

Alex turned at that point, giving Ray a wink. She had no idea of the terrible things Lesley was thinking about her, and for some reason, Ray suddenly felt very protective. It wasn't that he fancied her or was in love with her or anything that personal, but Alex was a mate, and the Guv seemed fond of her. Ray still wished that he could have a proper relationship one day… but that wouldn't happen any day soon. He'd already chosen his path, and he'd have to continue it down to the bottom.

Everything that happened next happened in a split second.

The barman suddenly lit up with some kind of enthusiasm, leant across the bar and planted an unwanted kiss on Alex. She didn't protest, as if using it all in her plan, but Lesley noticed and literally went red with rage. Ray tried to stop him, but he had already pulled out his hidden gun and was pointing it straight at Alex's head, screaming something about 'revenge' at the top of his voice. Alex tried to move towards the exit, but Lesley advanced. Ray patted his inside pockets – damn, he'd left his gun.

"Ray!" Alex shouted, at first he didn't quite know what for. Then he felt the cold steel of a gun stick into the side of his neck, and noticed how the other blokes from the darts game all had guns. They were trapped.

"What… what are we gonna do?" Ray half whispered, only just remembering that being held at gun point always unleashed his inner cowardice.

It was when he spoke that he heard the gunshot and Alex's gasp of horror.


	7. Chapter 7

_There was a gun shot. Alex closed her eyes. She remembered. She'd already been shot. It couldn't happen again… could it? She remembered. Everything, quite clear, the way she'd been dragged to that empty barge. The cold, dark, lonely boat. The eyes. Those crazy eyes… he had showed no mercy. And he was still out there. Her daughter wasn't safe. No one was. Oh, and the steel was so cold. Her head had split in two, the worst migraine in history, the merciless deathly pain… she remembered. The sound had brought back so many memories of that night. She could see the bullet in her memory, speeding towards her but so slow, taking it's time. No one to save her. She was so alone… and she remembered. Then her mind snapped back into the present (or rather, past) and she remembered something else. She wasn't the only one in danger in this pub. _

The shot echoed around the almost empty bar, causing one of the drunken old men to fall off of his barstool. The barman recoiled slightly, dropping his glass so that shards of it sprinkled about like confetti. Most of the other men swallowed their drinks and ran for the exit. Alex gasped – she hadn't heard where the shot had come from. Her senses blurred, panic taking over for a few seconds. Her head was still intact and her brains weren't mush, so she was fine. There was no pain. She was okay. She'd live to fight another day. Her eyes snapped open – they'd automatically closed in fear – and she saw Ray. He was still stood, thank God, shaking like a leaf. The armed men were no longer threatening his life, and come to think of it, Lesley was no longer aiming his weapon at her head. So what the hell had happened…? Lesley was on the floor, rolling in obvious pain and clutching a blooded arm. Alex looked about, blind for a moment, until she saw his figure in the doorway, gun raised, brows furrowed.

Gene Hunt walked in slowly, arm lowering until it was by his side. His eyes locked with Alex's. For longer than she expected them to. He nodded at her, as if acknowledging her survival, and then the room was flooded with uniformed police, grabbing the armed gang and arresting them so easily, the whole undercover thing seemed useless compared. Alex shook herself like a wet dog, trying to get over her previous moment of complete and utter terror. What was she thinking? She was Alex Drake! She could handle this! So instead of staying in the dark, cowering by the cowards, she walked over to Lesley and bent down to his level, a smug smile on her lips.

"They cheated, didn't they?" She asked. "Coming in like a herd of elephants…"

"Shut… up…!" Lesley managed through gritted teeth, grabbing out at her and smudging her pink top with his blood. "You know… nothing… nothing! Nothing about… about being cheated. You're wrong… You were wrong… !"

"Okay, Mr Bourne." Alex mused this for a moment before boggling her eyes and shaking her head. "Whatever!"

"No mercy, eh?" He whispered. Her flashback flooded into mind.

"Don't." She replied. "You held a gun to my head. As I recall, this is an act of no mercy. You should be the one apologising."

"…never…"

"Well then, I don't think we'll get along."

A uniformed policeman came just then, easing the man up and causing him some grief. Alex watched him being dragged away and cuffed. She didn't stand properly, just sort of knelt there for a while, staring at the ground and wondering what could have happened if Gene hadn't come. He was – although it did sound a little cheesy – her hero. Everyone's hero.

"Drake, here now!" His bellow was hardly infamous.

Alex sighed and made her move towards him, straightening her top and brushing through her tangled her gently with her fingers.

"Hunt?" She tried a smile.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" He shouted. "You could've got yourself – or Ray – killed! You never, ever, ever go undercover without my say so, understood?"

"You left me in charge!" Alex defended. "What was I supposed to do, wait for another death? Say: 'it's alright, team, we'll sort everything out… once the Manc bloody Lion is out of his cage'!"

"Don't use my nick-name against me."

"Don't underestimate me! I had it all under control…"

"Looked like it."

"Shut up!" Alex screeched. "I'm so tired! I'm sick and tired of you and your pride. Leave…me…alone…"  
Gene seemed almost taken aback by this comment, shifted away from her by at least an inch and pursing his lips slightly. His expression changed a bit, but not too much, not enough for Alex to notice.

"Alright." He said finally. "I'll leave you alone. Course."

"Good." Alex nodded. "Fine. That's… that's a load off my back."

*****

"I've never really been in a real… well, what d'ya call it?"

"Relationship."

"Yeah, one o' them. And now I see Chris in.. one o' them… and it looks… well, good. Sound like a right twonk, don't I?"

"Continue."

"…I'm getting lonely…"

"Don't get any ideas! We were pretending to be married, nothing else."

"Yeah I know, an' I wouldn't go for some posh tart like you."

"Nice to know."

"Just… a bit… well, lonely."

"Don't worry about it, Ray. I've been in several relationships, and they've all ended badly. Even now, I've managed to ruin one that hasn't even begun yet. I don't think it ever will. I'm such an idiot. Just… just wait for the right person. Is all I can say."

"Uh… okay. Oh, and, Alex?"

"Yes?"

"Anyone ever finds out about this little talk… you're dead meat."

"Oh, I know."

*****

After Alex and Ray's chat on the way to the Quattro – Gene standing a fair few paces in front – she was feeling a bit sad. After all, a man had been shot and Ray wasn't happy in life. And she certainly wasn't happy with the decision Gene had finally made. Why had she opened her stupid mouth? He was going to avoid her now, and all because she was a little tired today. Then again, she was always too tired. One minute you're at ease, the next you're ripped from comfort and plunged into darkness.

Alex seated herself in the front of the car, defiant that this would still be her place. After all, she was still the DI, and she deserved front seat. Ra shuffled himself into the back, still looking edgy and jumpy from the previous event. Gene didn't protest as Alex got comfortable, just pressed down hard on the accelerator as usual and before she knew it, they were parked outside the station. No one had said a word, no one had dared speak. It was the most silent ride. So silent… and that scared Alex too. Ray climbed out of the back and slunk away, but she stayed put to try and right things between her and Gene. She couldn't bear his quietness, the way he didn't even bother glancing at her when she sighed loudly.

"How much longer?" She said finally when neither of them had left the vehicle.

"Hmm?" He grunted, reaching for his flask.

More silence. Too unbearable. Too wrong. Too quiet. The seconds ticked by. She didn't know what to say. How could she word it without seeming desperate or clingy, or just stupid? Closing her eyes, she tried to imagine her last happiest memory. Molly, catching her blown kiss. This last time she ever saw her daughter (that wasn't an illusion of course). Her tiny frame, beautiful face, such an angelic child. Would she ever see Molly again? Was she in a coma like Sam, was Molly at her side? Or was she still in the damp, cold barge, waiting to be rescued? So many questions… she pushed them away, trying to think of her happiest memory… there was Molly… suddenly, the image of her daughter obscured, morphing into something else. Now she remembered feeling so good, smelling the fags and beer, but still loving it. Remembered the soft pressure of his lips… the warm sensation… the happiest memory… Alex's eyes snapped open, the memory torn. No, no, no! She loved her daughter, she wanted to be with her. She wouldn't let some stupid construct get in her way of coming back home! Even if part of her didn't want to leave…

"Drake?" Gene piped up, making her jump. Just seeing his face… "You gonna tell me?"

"What?" She blurted, confused.

"How much longer what?" He asked, putting his flask away and grabbing the car door ready to push open.

"Oh… nothing." Alex remembered, but didn't want to say it anymore. "I was just being… stupid."

"More like typical." He muttered, getting out. "Typical Bollinger Knickers."

"Yeah." She half laughed, stepping into the wind so that her hair flowed back. "And Hunt, what I said before, about leaving me alone…"

"It's alright." Gene put up a gloved hand as he walked away. "Don't worry 'bout it, it's all sorted."

"Oh." Alex nodded, watching him go. "Good. No, but wait!"

Gene turned on his heel, marched towards her and pouted. "What?" He barked, obviously not in the mood. Alex pursed her lips, wondering how to word it… she saw the men from the bar being loaded into the station like it was a factory. They gave her dirty looks. A female officer was tending to an injured man, bandaging his wounded arm in calico and asking him if he could move his fingers. All of the life's energy was drained from his face, and within that particular second, he turned to Alex. Their eyes met, and she was the first to look away – she sensed he was still staring at her. He was Lesley Bourne, she knew him from 2008. Paranoid, jealous man. But why was he paranoid? Why was he obsessed with jealousy? And then she couldn't help herself.

"The man in the mirror." She grated, her voice hoarse. "It's him."

"Man in the what?" Gene frowned, not understanding. "Bolls, you've lost me."

"He's… he's going to kill again. Gene, we have to give him life! He's going to kill again!"

"Alright, alright, I'll see to it." He calmed her. "What I was gonna do anyway. Come on."

He carried himself up the stairs, through the station doors and disappeared. Alex was left to muse the possibilities of the future. Could she really change what happens 27 years from now? What would happen? The worst that could happen is that, well, nothing really. Those people would survive, the ones who were going to die, and he would be locked away forever. Life.

Molly's pretty eyes stared at Alex from behind her. She knew that her child wasn't really stood, waiting to be held. But it was nice to think that maybe she was close. Close enough to know that her mother loved her. And that she would never forget her. No matter how much things go out of hand. Just another delusion that Alex always underwent on a regular basis. Alex turned, even though she knew the image would fade. And it did. But that's when she saw the banner hanging from the building opposite, loosely drooping but held up with nails. A man on a ladder was just finishing, perfecting it's straightness. Alex stared at the words on the banner, frozen to the spot.

**Home is where your heart is.**

"What?" Alex shouted loud enough for the whole station to hear. "Why? I don't understand, what does that mean? My heart is… is… it belongs to Molly. I love her. It belongs to her…"

Now even she started to believe that she was kidding herself. Of course, a part of her would always belong to Molly. But right now, all she wanted was one man.

*****

Lesley snarled as Gene looked through his cell window box, smiling at him sarcastically and snapping it shut. Faint profanities could be heard from within, but he chose to ignore it and walk away. No use listening to that bloody idiot. He'd go down for a long time just as soon as they cold prove that he'd done it. That he was a bastard cop killer. Oh, and not forgetting the other poor bugger who was stabbed. Nasty way to go, not exactly pain-free. Gene knew that, he'd been stabbed before and it certainly wasn't much fun. There was a pain burning inside him right now. Not physical, but it was still visible. Viv had already asked if he was okay, Chris had given him a shaky wave and the rest of the team had stared as he battled his way to his office without growling at anyone. He'd made his promise (sort of) to Alex that he would leave her alone, and was sticking by it. He'd always do as she said, as long as he agreed that it was the right thing to do. She needed her space, he needed to think things through. Was this really happening to him? Was he…

Gene thought about his ex-wife. Nothing like Detective Inspector Drake. Two completely different people, Alex wasn't someone who he'd usually go for. But then again, the old saying went that opposites attract, and in this case they certainly did. But he knew that she didn't feel the same way. And no matter which way he looked at it, he probably only wanted her because… well, who wouldn't? Gorgeous figure, face and legs. Ooh-la-la, he had thought when he'd first clasped eyes on her. But that was all it was – or could ever be. He couldn't go any deeper than that… could he?


	8. Chapter 8

Lesley Bourne. 22 years old. Murderer? Perhaps. Mentalist? Most definitely.

In the end, they had no proper case against him. There was no evidence to suggest he could kill anyone. Sure, he'd aimed a gun directly at a DI, but he'd never actually fired. In fact, he was the one who was shot, he was assaulted heavily when he could've been simply wrestled to the ground, maybe even talked out of it. All of the witnesses were either too drunk to remember, too scared to come forward, or were actually on his side. The Guv had finally realised that they couldn't keep him in the cells forever without charging him. They had to let the bastard go.

"What about firearms possession?" Alex suggested. This guy was going to kill again, she'd been eyewitness to that fact. But proving it would be incredibly difficult; that particular crime happened in the year 2005 – 24 years from now. God. 1981. This was so wrong.

"Can't." Gene breathed out steadily, lounging in his chair.

"Why not?" Alex screwed up her nose in distaste. "It's an offence, isn't it?"

"He's already been cautioned." Chris piped up, his head stuck round the door of Gene's office.

"Well, yes, but that's hardly enough. He tried to shoot me!"

"Didn't though." The Guv pointed out. "Can't do him for it."

"But we can't let this go! You promised me that he'd get life."

"Didn't promise."

"Stop being difficult, Hunt."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Um… sorry…" Chris mumbled. "You want me to leave?"

"No Christopher," Gene sat up suddenly. "I need you to go get statements off those lovely lads in the cells while me and Ray go interview Bourne…"

"Wait a minute," Alex stopped him, hand in the air. "I do interviews. I'm DI. I sit in the interviews. Me."

"Mm." Gene nodded in agreement, chewing the end of his biro as if in thought. "Not today."

Alex huffed, made strange noises with her voice, threw her hands up in the air and finally finished with a huge sigh, the look on her face contorted with rage. Why was he being so annoying? She didn't want him to forget about her. She didn't want him to avoid her. And she certainly didn't want him jeopardising her career over some silly, childish argument. This was complete madness and wouldn't happen if she was in 2008. It was more… professional there. More… more her.

"Fine, Gene, do what you like." She said finally. "You usually do anyway, so what's the point in trying to change you?"

*****

Alex had waited outside the interview room for what felt like hours. Her watch told her it had been 30 minutes. Gene and Ray finally exited with a smug looking lawyer and a happy looking Lesley. That didn't seem good at all.

"We've had to reach an agreement." Ray pronounced expertly.

"You've let him go." Alex felt sick. "Why? He's going to kill, he's obsessed, mentally ill! He hates woman who flirt, he hates cheating, he's jealous and untamed and unfit and certainly not healthy…"

"Calm down, Drake." Gene spit. "It's fine. We'll find some other way to catch the murderer."

"He _is _the murderer!" She screamed. Ray raised his eyebrows.

"How would you know?" He wondered. "You've got no idea, you just said you thought it was 'im."

"No, I had a premonition." Alex corrected. "I saw him in the mirror, I saw his face, he wrote on the glass…" She stopped herself then. Both men were staring her out, eyes scrunched up as they tried to get a hold of what she was saying.

"Hang about…" Ray smirked. "…what if she's the loony one?"

Gene didn't answer. He stalked off. Alex didn't bother to follow. She went to her desk, put her head in her hands. Stress. She could lose her hair over this. No, she loved her bouncy curls, they were sort of growing on her.. very 80's admittedly, but… No, concentrate on the job in hand.

"We still going out tonight?" Shaz's shrill tone made Alex jump and she looked up wearily to see the young girl swinging on one foot near Chris's desk.

"Uh… yeah." He answered dumbly. "Where are we going again?"

"Dunno." Shaz frowned. "You said you were gonna take me to a fancy restaurant."

Chris's eyes widened.

"Never been to a fancy one…" She continued to dream. "…well, not a posh one anyway. Not one where you get loads o' little forks and spoons and that. But I don't like anything like that. Maybe somewhere a bit nice, not too alien. Just nice, you know? Spend a bit."

"Oh." Chris nodded slowly. "Right. Good job I, err, booked us a place at that nice Chinese down town."

"Never!" Shaz smiled delightedly. "Fab, I'll wear my nice dress."

"Right."

As she walked away, Alex saw the colour drain from Chris's face and look of shear panic cross his eyes. He immediately grabbed a phone, dialling away…

"Yeah, have you got a spare table for two at 'bout 6ish?"

Alex smiled, head down on the table. To be young and in love. _Wait_, Alex thought. _I am young. And… well, I am in love. Aren't I? This is love, right? Love is when you can't breath or see every time they're near you, where your senses blur and you can't stand to be apart from them? That is the definition of love. But whether or not it's with the right person… now that is the question._

Alex sighed loudly and for about two minutes. Chris noticed, frowned, and hesitated before standing up. He wavered for a moment, unsure of what to say or do, until he finally cracked a huge grin and grabbed a chair to sit opposite Alex. She didn't look up, still deep in her mixed thoughts. Not wanting to completely disturb her, Chris sat for a moment, fiddling with a paperclip from one of the folders in front of her. Finally, after he started to whistle, Alex dragged her head upwards and took the paperclip from him, pinning it back into place.

"Sorry, ma'am." He mumbled, now substituting it with his thumbs.

A few more minutes went by, but this time Alex was staring at him. Chris began to shift in his seat uncomfortably.

"'sup, ma'am?" He gave a friendly smile.

"Oh, nothing, DC Skelton." Alex mused. "Just thinking about… well, nothing you need to worry about."

Chris looked confused and dumbfounded. Or just normal Chris.

"Sorry." Alex smiled sweetly. "Um… you got the statements from the cells, yes?"

"Oh, uh, yeah." He nodded, half jogging to his desk and retrieving them. "Guv hasn't looked at 'em yet. He's busy and sorting some stuff out so… err, here you are."

Alex took them politely and rifled through. Every single one was the same. 'Lesley Bourne is no killer.' Or 'he didn't have a gun'. Just a bunch of followers.

"Chris, did they arrest the barman?" Alex wondered thoughtfully.

"Dunno, wasn't there."

"Right. I don't think they did, so… would you like to go on a little trip?"

"No."

"Oh?"

"Guv won't like it. Didn't like it last time. Why do you deliberately get him all wound up?"

"I don't deliberately do it…" Alex said, wondering how Chris knew such a big word. "…I just, well. I don't mean it. Please, Chris this could be the breakthrough we need."

Chris contemplating this. Usually it meant he'd get into a lot of trouble and it would result in another Gene/Alex argument, him and Ray being blamed tremendously and then Shaz being mad for no reason. Chris didn't understand it. But finally, the odds that ma'am was probably right stacked up and he nodded. "Okay then."

*****

Gene knew that Alex was right. Lesley was filth, a complete prick that needed to be sent down. But what with the modern way of policing (Sam always said it would happen one day) and the lack of non-substantial evidence, it seemed that the good guys couldn't win this time. In the interview, he'd been all 'sins' and 'regret'. Something to do with 'them' getting it wrong all the time. Complete lunatic but definitely capable of murder, Gene could see it in his eyes. Radar's rarely wrong. He knew he was the one they needed to capture. But like hell would he ever admit that to Drake. He'd rather watch the man go free than see her smug smile and single raised eyebrow. No, he wouldn't go through all of that. But there was one way of policing he did know about… doing things on your own, finding your own way of getting the man.

Gene bounced the car into the right gear and sped off down the road, eyes focussed on where he was going. Lesley's home, the one place where he thought he was safe. Gene would arrest him for some random reason, like drugs possession. Bring him in, get him done. Sorted. Then he could worry about real things like _her_.

Gene pulled up outside the right house. Nice little place, hidden in the casual scene of a small estate, kids listening to those new Walkman things. Why would someone want to listen to that trash, never mind making it mobile? Technology annoyed Gene. Like most things. _Anyway, _he thought, pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind. He glanced up at where The Horse's Head pub was. Just a few yards away. And there was Lesley, making his short trip to the darts board, probably to discuss with his lucky mates how funny their trip to the station had been. Probably going to talk about that idiot, DCI Hunt, thinking he knew everything when actually they got off on a technicality. This riled Gene some more, even though it was just his imagination getting out of hand. Lesley didn't seem the type to name names or brag about things. He seemed quiet, self-conscious and very talented at acting simple.

Gene stepped out of his car, storming right towards Lesley with his hand cupping the gun inside his pocket, ready to pull out in case of emergency. Lesley noticed him straight away, but instead of running or panicking, he smiled and waved. Gene was thrown a bit.

"Hey, DCI Hunt." Lesley called. "You coming in for the match?"

"Stop the bloody games, Bourne," Gene spat. "They're getting more boring than a prozzie with her clothes on."

"Games?" Lesley seemed genuinely confused. "I don't know what you mean, Mr Hunt."

"Oh I think you do. See, I don't take too kindly to being shown up in front of my officers, taken for a ride or having a gun pointing at my colleagues head. Oh, and you still haven't apologised to her for that."

"You haven't apologised for shooting me in the arm!" The man shoved a bandaged limb at Gene, pointing furiously. "But you and I both know that won't happen, will it? Anyway, I will say sorry to your woman…"

"She's not my woman."

"…just as soon as she gets over here."

"What?"

Lesley nodded over his shoulder and Gene turned to see Alex with her hands on her hips, head to one side, glaring. Chris stood behind her, almost hiding, waving sheepishly.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Gene yelled, throat hoarse.

"Following up on my… instinct." Alex confirmed, walking towards him. "Oh, and Mr Bourne? I would like to see you back at the station, thank you."

"Oh no, this is my lead." Gene shook his head. "I was here first anyway."

"Don't be a child, Hunt." Alex sighed. "We're all adults here."

"Hmph."

"And don't make that noise."

"Err… I'll just arrest him then, shall I?" Chris put a finger in the air.

"No." Gene snapped. "Yes." Alex nodded.

"I said, no." Gene pressed.

"Why not?" Alex scowled. "You were going to anyway before I turned up."

"Umm…" Chris waved a hand.

"Shut up, Chris." Gene narrowed his eyes. "I'm pissed off enough without having to listen to you gabbling on about…"

"Gene!" Alex screeched, reaching out to grab him, but it was too late. She stared. Then she was blind with terror. All she could hear was Lesley's voice.

"Why do you never listen to me? I said you were wrong. You're still wrong. He's going to die, because he knows. I can see that he knows. And now you're going to die, because you know. This is what you get – you say I'm a murderer, you bang me up and I suffer the years – then I harden. I start to believe that what you say I am… It's true. But you were wrong! All of you! They said, all those years ago, that I hit them on the head with a piece of metal, then stabbed them slowly until death. But it wasn't me, was it? Took you too long to figure that out, didn't it? So guess what! Guess what, you fucking idiots?! Revenge, its oh so sweet!"

Lesley stopped talking now, replacing his words with manic laughter as he pulled the knife from the DCI's back, letting his body drop to the floor. Chris was immediately on him, calling into his radio for back-up and an ambulance, trying to keep the insane man in his grasp and failing.

Alex fell to her knees almost gracefully, eyes blurry with tears. Gene was staring at her, eyes flickering. She took in his look, soaked it up, letting him overtake her.

"…see…" Gene half smirked, wincing in agony. "Knew it. This is what – ugh – what happens when you think you know everything, Drake… stupid… stupid Bolly."

"I know." She sobbed, then she screamed it. "I know! I know! Don't do this to me, why would I think up this? Don't die!" The rest, she said only to herself, into her mind: _You can't leave me. Not like this…_


	9. Chapter 9

The sirens were getting closer, the back-up was taking its time and Gene was grunting with impatience, a long string of profanities and curses pouring from his mouth. Although right now, no one cared what he said, how he said it or who he said it to. He needed to keep talking, that was good, it showed he was alright. It was only in the back, not exactly a very vital part of his body… would he need a wheel chair? What were the consequences? Chris was staring at the scene before him, eyes determined not to cry. He was used to these situations, he would not cry. He tried to hold on to Lesley – not because he was struggling but because his arms felt suddenly dead, like he couldn't hold on any longer. He felt numb. Almost dead. Like he'd felt when Sam hadn't resurfaced. The exact same feeling. But inside his mind, he knew that Gene couldn't' die. He was immortal, wasn't he? One of those people, those lucky people who never get hurt. Could never… never fail his team. This wasn't happening. The sirens got louder.  
Alex was bent over his body, tears dripping from her nose and falling to a small puddle forming on his cheek. And still he continued to swear, cursing louder and louder and trying to desperately point at Lesley before realising that it hurt to move his arms. He gasped, Alex yelped. Tried to hold him… but he was wincing.

"…wanker-loving bastard!" Gene was gritting. "Get off me, I'm gonna hit him so hard his… his teeth will… gah…"

"Gene, don't!" Alex cried, fast. "Just… just talk about something else. Quietly. But keep talking, please."

"Bolly." He said, lids drooping. "I mean, Drake. Alex. Alex!"

"Yes?" She blinked rapidly, mascara running down her face. "What is it?"

"Ambulance is here!" Chris interrupted, voice croaking.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Alex nodded in enthusiasm. "Gene, Gene… Gene you're going on the ambulance now. You're going to be alright."

"… I know… I've been… this has happened… before…" He managed, grimacing. "I… I hate hospitals… too clean…"

Alex laughed. She didn't mean to, it was involuntary but it still happened. He smiled weakly. There eyes met. And stayed there. Alex wanted to say it… but she couldn't bring herself to. She knew that if she did, she would be giving in and she'd never see Molly again. This was so difficult! Why must her life here be so confusing and terrifying?

Gene thought about his situation in the most radical way he possibly could. Without all the swearing and hatred that was boiling inside of him, the rational side of the Gene Genie, he tried to think about what was happening. Not often he thought ahead, usually lived for the moment, but right now, he needed to think. Seriously think. Think about what was going to happen now. Chris was in bits, couldn't stand to see his boss of so many years die in front of him. The ambulance was beside him, men with a stretcher rushing to his side. He didn't complain when they moved his body. Didn't complain when he was shut inside the dark ambulance, daylight disappearing. He saw Alex desperately trying to come into the dark van with him, but the driver shoved her away. This made him mad. And then he realised what it was that he'd needed to say.

"Bolly!" He tried to call, it hurt. "Bolly… I want you."

*****

Ray's fist connected with Lesley's jaw for a fourth time. Then Chris's foot caught the back of his leg. Then even Shaz slapped him hard. Others joined in the torture that Ray had seen fitting to put against the man that had injured their DCI. Lesley stood in the middle of the CID offices, wearing nothing but his vest and boxer shorts. All of the team were taking it in turns to have a go, except for Alex who couldn't give a toss what happened to him. Shaz only hit him once, then returned to her desk with a disgusted look on her face. The lads glorified in it.

"And this," Ray spat in his face. "is for being a massive dickhead!"

Another blow, to the stomach this time. Alex grimaced and stood up, finally having had enough of this crap.

"Stop it, Carling." She told him. "This isn't ethical."

"Isn't what?"

"Just stop it now." She sighed. "Look, I don't really care how much you hurt him but if we end up becoming murderers… just stop it now before there's an enquiry."

Ray spat on Lesley one last time and indicated to two of the others to take him away. Shaz got up and hugged Chris, tears spilling from her eyes.

"I've only known him a bit." She sobbed. "You've known him ages! God I hope he pulls through…"

"It's alright, Shazzer." Chris squeaked, sounding like he was the one who needed moral support. "He'll be alright… uh, he's gotta pull through. It's the Guv."

"Just being 'the Guv' doesn't suddenly give 'im magic powers, you div!" Ray growled, slumping into his seat.

"Nice to see you all have faith." Alex pursed her lips, unsure of what to say next. "Tell you what, Shaz, why don't you distract yourself with some work? How about…" Alex searched in her 'input' pile on the desk. "…ah, here we go, noisy teens. Go knock yourself out."

"But…"

"Everything here is fine. Just go."

The poor girl nodded unhappily and tried to pull herself away from Chris's grip. But he held onto her, determined not to let her go whilst she was still in tears. She pushed at his chest, and he was inclined to move out of her way, slipping a quick peck on the lips as she did so. Immediately blushing but trying to hide it, she left the room and suddenly everything was silent. Ray was staring into space, his cigarette falling from the corner of his mouth in a messy fashion. Chris was stood in the middle of CID, robotic and dull. Alex watched from her desk as everyone else seemed to have been put on pause. She shook her head at the state of it, those magnificent coppers who never let anything get in there way, reduced to this. It was strange how one man could effect so many people. He had been their boss, their leader, the man they looked up to… and now he was laying in a hospital bed, too critical for anyone to visit just yet. No, it was only a stab in the back. It couldn't have been that bad! No matter how many times Alex told herself that, she knew that he was seriously hurt. Badly injured. And not just his back – but his pride. Everything. And with what had happened, would the Superintendent let him walk back into his job? Would he have the strength to?

"What do we do now?" A voice asked, Alex looked up and saw one of the coppers staring right at her.

"What?" She asked, disorientated.

"Weren't you listening to the Superintendent?" Ray creased his forehead as Chris sat down.

To be honest, Alex hadn't been listening at all when the old crank was in here. She had been vaguely aware of his presence, that he was speaking to her and part of her brain had been functioning properly enough to know when to say 'mhmm' and 'oh'. But she didn't actually know what he was saying. Something about Gene? Something about how sad it was? How regretful? Sending his condolences? No, probably more bothered about who the acting DCI was going to be.

"Well, yes." Alex straightened up. "But… I… I forgot." She finished lamely, cringing.

"Told us 'bout the new DCI." Chris explained, all life drained from his usually jolly voice. Alex half smiled. She'd guessed correctly.

"Right, when is he here?" Alex smiled fully now, trying to seem cheery and focused.

Ray frowned once more – if he continued, he'd gain wrinkles in the wrong places – and nodded at her, ash flicking from his fag as he did so. "S'you, innit?" He said with distain.

"Me?"

An overwhelming sensation blew across Alex's mind, sudden pressure and responsibility echoing Ray's heartless words. No one else seemed that fussed, apparently she wasn't much to care about. Then again, they were all mourning the loss of the Manc Lion. Alex suddenly felt herself blush violently and she felt sick. How the hell could she carry on from where Gene left off? How could she possibly do that? The lads – they wouldn't listen to her, they'd be difficult and not very understanding.

"Why me?" She choked out, standing up.

"'Cos there's no one else." Ray shrugged. "And 'cos the Guv asked for you to do it."

"Gene asked after me?" Alex couldn't let the grin wipe from her face.

"Yeah, an' he wants you to come an' interview 'im when you can."

"Right." Alex knew exactly what that meant. Well, what she wanted it to mean anyway. He wanted to finish his sentence. The one he started. Hunt wanted her to visit him ASAP so that she could hear the words she so suddenly wanted to hear. But… would she be able to return his favour if he did? "Okay. Well, then I guess I'm leading this investigation. Umm… Lesley! We need to speak to Mr Bourne, find out why he… uh… did what he did. Then we… arrest him… no, we've done that…" Her head hurt. "…then we lock him up forever. Hopefully. We should get a confession out of him for the other murders, find out why he did that too. Then he's done, it's over."

*****

The interview commenced.

Alex stared at the beaten, bleeding Lesley. Bruises and wounds swelled at his face, lips busted like his nose and arm still resting in the bandage that he'd received after being shot in the arm. Okay, so maybe he did have a good motive for trying to kill Gene. But it was all revenge, like everything else, so there had to be something else. Ray was in the interview, his patience slowly fading the more he looked at the man before him. Alex could see his nostrils flaring, his lips curling and his breath becoming faster. He was more angry than she'd ever seen him, and it worried her.

"Well I have only one question to ask, so I'll start and see where it takes us." Alex began. "Why?"

"Why?" Lesley whispered back.

"Yeah, why, you stupid…" Ray made to stand, but Alex rested a hand on his shoulder and brought him back down, muttering something about keeping calm. He nodded. "She asked you a question… Bourne."

"I know." Lesley swallowed. "Can I have a drink of water, please?"

Alex indicated to the glass already filled before him. He sheepishly took her, wincing as the liquid slid down his throat. Alex tried not to sigh too loud – he was stalling his confession.

"Please answer the question, Mr Bourne." She tensed.

"He had it coming." Lesley croaked. "Idiotic fool. Thought he could shoot me and not expect something in return? So yeah… I admit I stabbed him. You were there. You saw it. Saw him. He was asking for it… shouting in my face, something about apologising to his precious DI for shoving a gun in her face…"  
Alex stiffened.

"…and when I didn't answer you turned up with that sissy lad, then he started to ignore me. All three of you. Talking away, acting as if I can't hear you. Arguing. And I thought… wait a minute, wasn't she supposed to be married to that hairy bloke?"

Ray stiffened.

"And I saw you, flirting with him. And he obliged, did some flirting back. Don't think no one can see how much you two… let's just say fighting doesn't disguise the passion in your eyes. So I … I knew that Ray wouldn't be happy… it was wrong, all wrong… I just…"

"That strange little jealousy bug kicked in." Alex finished for him, nodding as If she understood. "So what now? You going to tell us the rest?"

"The rest?"

"The other murders that we know you committed. But why?"

"It was all your fault." Lesley said, without missing a beat. "Well, I guess not you personally. None of you lot really… but it was those no-nothing coppers that did this to me."

"Please explain." Alex coughed.

"I was happy. I was great. I loved my wife…she was a copper to, you know? And then she cheated on me."

"I'm sorry."

"No, but you don't understand!" Lesley's eyes turned pleading. "It was him. He did it… he couldn't take it when she told him it was me that she wanted… so… he killed her. Brutal, cold murder. But guess who got the bloody blame! It was that PC Terrence, I remember his face. He was the one who arrested me. And it was Lewis who gave away my location."

"Lewis Trafford?"

"Yeah. Supposed to be my mate, but even he thought I'd done it. I couldn't hide, couldn't go anywhere. In the end I had to except that I was never gonna get let off… so I let them take me. And I was sent down for it."

"That stabbing, in our files." Alex said slowly. "You didn't actually commit them?"

"No!"

"But… now you're taking your revenge." Alex shook her head. "This is too easy, this is too normal! Where's the significance?"

"What?" Ray also asked in complete unison with Lesley.

"Well… this has nothing to do with me, how weird is that? I mean… absolutely nothing to do with me. You're just some man I meet later on."

"Can she leave, please…" Lesley shifted in his seat, eyes darting about. "Or better still, can I leave? I've confessed, woop-de-do, just get me out of here."

Ray nodded, walking around the table and cuffing his wrists. Alex couldn't hear the rest as they left. She was devastated. _What the bloody hell? I thought everything was supposed to be significant. Why am I having this little story? This little… adventure! Why the hell?!?!?! I want to go home. What was the point in any of that…?_ At this moment, Viv walked in and smiled at her, nodding his head towards the exit in some kind of secret message. At first, thinking she understood, Alex nodded back and sighed loudly, slumping out of the room and towards the CID offices where Shaz seemed to have returned and Chris was getting acquainted with her. But Viv grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back, his face contorted with puzzlement.

"Aren't you going?" He asked, his voice deep.

"Where?" It was Alex's turn to look confused.

"To the hospital." Viv grinned. "I guess you didn't understand my little nod, sorry."

"Hospital? Oh, the hospital! They're letting in visitors already?"

"Well…" Viv swayed slightly. "Not really but he's feeling so much better that he doesn't mind abusing the nurses until they let you in. And I'm sure your uniform wil merit a pass."

"Really?" Alex laughed. "He wants to see me that badly?"

"Say's that he needs to speak with you."

"Oh."

*****

Suddenly the realisation of what she was doing catapulted into her stomach, causing a reflex action of the word 'bugger' to slip out of her mouth in the middle of the offices. After convincing Shaz that no, she wasn't in pain, but that she did want to be left alone, thank you very much. Chris backed off completely, busying himself with mindless tasks whilst Ray kept the mood uplifted by telling more stories of his past arrest or beautiful woman (which Alex was sure were imaginary because she had never seen these so-called girlfriends). Alex now realised what she had done – or what she was about to do, if she decided to go to visit Gene Hunt or not. Letting go. Releasing her mind. Giving up. Giving up on 2008 and her daughter. If she let this emotional tie pull her down, she would never get back and she knew that for fact.

But how could she decide what to do? She… well, she loved him. She couldn't not visit. He'd be so upset, devastated. He wanted to speak to her and she wanted to listen. But she didn't want to throw away her only chance of getting home.

And there was another thought. What if she went insane like Sam? What if she already had? What if she got back home but decided that she didn't like it and tried to get back? It worked, apparently, so there was nothing stopping her if that did happen… too much thought. There was only one question that was really important right now.

_Should I or should I not go visit the man I love so deeply?_


	10. Chapter 10

Gene had been right – hospitals were too clean. Smelt too clinical, the air tasted of bleach and medicine. And everything was so white, the walls, floor, beds, everything. Nothing had any character except for the nurses that walked by, but even they didn't batter many eyelids. All in all, this place was not a pleasant place to be in or visit. No visitors had come anyway today, she would be the first. Expectation and wonder filled the atmosphere. Would she come? Would she not? Did she even care? Gene wasn't feeling tired or weary, he was suppressing his excitement. It wasn't an emotion usually acknowledged by him personally, but right now it felt so incredible. He just wanted to tell the world, but he didn't. Reputations were there to be fulfilled, not destroyed. So whenever the nurses came, he'd snap at them but watch their arses as they moved away. Something he wished he would stop himself from doing, considering the circumstances, but he never could resist a little peak.

The curtains were closed around his bed, something to do with not wanting to scare the less injured patients. Gene had scoffed at this – the stab wound was on his back, after all. But the doctors had insisted on it, and a part of him thought that they were trying to save the police public image more than anything. Finally, another nurse came into his little curtained den and smiled sweetly as they all did, so plastic and stuck on. She bent over to move his pillow, and he stared once again at her rear end – before stopping himself and thinking of _her _perfect rear end.

"You alright, Mr Hunt?" She smiled.

"_DCI_ Hunt, thank you." He snapped back, remembering his image. "And no, actually, I've just been attacked from behind. I'm feeling slightly annoyed, pissed off at the coward who did this to me. You?"

"Alright, now, Mr Hunt." Nurses sighed. "No need to get upset."

"No need to get upset?" He repeated, only louder.

"Let me get you some water." She toddled away, and he bit his lip, staring at the ceiling. Maybe he was coming on a little too strong.

Then came the silence. On his own again, just waiting and waiting for something to happen. How did people lay in these beds without anything happening? All the thrills of everyday CID life was definitely not here. Loneliness, that was the actual case. Loneliness and tediousness. And desperation. Suddenly, the curtain flew back and Gene looked up in surprise.

"Hello."

Gene swallowed. It was Alex. She actually came.

"Err… ey-up, Bolly." His throat was dry.

"You wanted to see me apparently." She walked towards him, sitting on a chair beside his bed. She looked pitiful. Something in her usually sparkling eyes, something missing. She looked defeated… and instantly he knew that she didn't want to be here, with him.

Alex was thinking. Thinking hard about what was in front of her. It was so distressing to see Gene's hapless, feeble body laid on a bed, unmoving and so helpless. She knew the pain this must be putting him through; not physical pain as well. It was heart-breaking. Alex couldn't bear to see this. She had to leave. And yet somehow she summoned the strength to stay put, to look into his broken eyes and smile. The Guv, reduced to this. It was torture.

"How's the back?" Alex asked lightly, a sob escaping her mouth before she could stop it.

"Never been better." He lied. "Feeling alright, ta."

"Good." She nodded. "So… you left me… in charge."

"Yes."

"Uh… why me?"

"Because I trust you with the place." Gene blinked twice. "That's all."

"Right." Alex winced. "Also, you wanted to see me."

Gene didn't say anything. He looked down, face still like a bulldog chewing on a bee, sitting up in his bed as if to make himself look more manly than he seemed now. He coughed loudly, eyes shifting about the room for a bit until he finally caught Alex's face and couldn't look away.

"I… uh…." He swallowed hard. "It's just… nothing."

"What?" Alex's face contorted with sudden anger. "No, you were going to say something. Say it."

"I doesn't matter."

"No!" She shrieked, but realised that she had to hush down for the other patients and did so. "I had to battle with my mind to bring myself here, now you are going to finish that damn sentence!"

"Sentence?" Gene narrowed his eyes.

"Yes." Alex calmed down now, leaning back. "You were… you were saying my name, when the ambulance came, and… you never told me what you were going to say."

"Oh." Gene nodded. He knew it. Just trying to bide his time. Trying to get the words out of his mouth. Out of his mind. They didn't sound right now. It had been spur of the moment, gone now. Bu they still meant something… it was just figuring out how to say it. Alex sighed loudly, and got up to leave, taking one last lingering loo behind her before continuing on her way out.

"Wait." Gene croaked, unsure why he'd said it. "Don't go yet, alright?"

"Fine." Alex flapped her arms at the sides. "Whatever."

"What?"

"Just… what is it?"

"Right." Gene took a deep breath and moved his jaw around. "I was going to say… well, that kiss… before, you know. I wasn't… I hadn't drank that much…"

"You weren't pissed." A look of sheer realisation washed over her face and she collapsed into the chair once more. "Shit…"

"I liked it." Gene carried on, staring into space, like he was no longer speaking to her. "I wanted it. Wanted you. I don't know why, its insane, wrong. Bastard wrong. I… I shouldn't have let you do it though – it's not right. I knew you'd just regret it in the morning. So I… I pulled away. But I liked it. I still like it. I still want it."

It was all Gene could now to wait for Alex's reply.

*****

The office was empty. No one filled the space where Gene Hunt sat, no one dared. No one ever could, not in Chris's eyes. It was _his _chair, in _his _office where he'd forever be in charge. How could anyone else take over? They had, once before, a long time ago in a different place, and that hadn't gone down too well either. Alex Drake was a great copper, but she wasn't him. And she never would be. Where was she anyway? Chris had spent his time going over things in his head, wondering about what could've happened if he hadn't agreed to help Alex by going back to The Horses Head. If he'd refused, would she still have gone? Would the Guv still have been stabbed? Probably not. But if he had… would anyone have seen, called the ambulance? Got back-up? How could things have gone different? No matter how he looked at it, Chris seemed to manage to fit the blame on himself. Somehow… Ray sat in silence, as did everyone else. Nothing was moving or happening anywhere. Nothing at all. Until Shaz rose from her type-writer defiantly and rested a hand on Chris's shoulder.

"Y'alright, babe?" She asked kindly.

"Yeah." He sulked.

"You don't look it," She pressed, fingering his floppy hair with her bottom lip sticking out. She hated to see him upset. Chris shrugged her away, arms folding.

"Oh…" Shaz knelt beside him, staring up into his eyes – his oddly coloured eyes, but she still loved them – and tried to smile. "Wasn't your fault, you know. Don't beat yourself up about it. What are you thinking about?"

"I'm not beating myself up about it." Chris frowned. "and I'm not thinking about anything."

"That's not true." Shaz shook her head. "'Cos you have to be thinking something, everyone does."

"Alright then." He shifted in his seat, his argument lost. "I'm thinking about the Guv. What if… what if I had told ma'am that I didn't wanna go with her? Would he still be hurt?"

"Who would have been there to get the ambulance?" She argued back.

"Exactly!" Chris nodded. "Who would've? I can't win."

"Then maybe…" She searched her mind for an answer. "Maybe it was meant to happen. You know… meant to be?"

"Leave 'im alone, will you?" Ray piped up, having been listening to the pointless discussion with very impatient and throbbing ears. "If 'e wants to take the blame, let 'im."

"No!"

"Shove your arse back at your desk and shut your bloody gob, woman."

"That's a demeaning sentence…"

"A what sentence? I know how to talk!"

"Shut up!" Chris yelled, standing up. "Bloody hell! I can't think! I'm, err, gonna go out for fresh air. And when I get back, I… uh… wanna see you lot working! Or something."

At that point, he stormed out and Ray screwed up his nose in apparent disgust.

"Eh, I'm the next in charge round 'ere!"

"Oh, leave him alone." Shaz sighed, finding her way back to the desk.

Although CID did seem a little shook up from the change in environment, they went back to the silent stillness.

*****

"Say something, then!"

Alex had done nothing but stare at her boss after he had suddenly let out everything he'd been holding in for such a long time. Now he was looking at her with beady eyes, jaw slightly out of place as he waited for her to at least speak up. He didn't mind if she turned him down. It was probably what was going to happen anyway. But it hurt him that she didn't even have the decency to at least tell him that. Instead, her expression became illegible and she swallowed hard.

"I think…" She started – the nurse came in with his water, then busied away – "I think that I'm never going to get away from this place. Ever."

"Eh?" Gene frowned, reaching for his glass but she took it and gulped it down quickly.

"Better." She told him, handing him the empty glass. "As I was saying… I don't think I will ever get out of here. You – you're keeping me here and the more you say, the less chance I have at getting home. I gave up everything to come and see you today."

"I'm honoured."

"Don't." She warned. "No jokes. No snide comments. No arguing… just, listen to me now. You've said your piece. Okay. I'm fine. In control, I can say it… Well, I can't. That's the thing. Do I stay with you, here in this strange world? Or do I go back, see my daughter again? Because whatever I do… I'm losing."

"What do you mean, Alex?" He asked, eyes narrowing already, so early in the conversation. Obviously this wasn't going too well.

"If I stay here," She explained, using his hands. "Then I lose my daughter. If I go back… I lose you."

"I see." Gene said, nodding. Actually, that was a lie. He had no idea what his fancy-pants DI was going on about.

"Molly needs me." She continued, feeling more and more comfortable with this discussion. "But I fear that I will never hold her hand again." A sob escaped her lips. "And part of me does want her hand to hold, but there's this other part of me. Obviously labelled the 'dangerous' side. Because it wants to be here. With you. And then there's 'common sense'. And that's winning right now."

"No it's not." Gene realised what she was saying. "Uh… just ignore it. It's what I do."

"Clearly." She managed a smile, tears slipping from her wide eyes. "But you said it yourself. You want me. Want. And that's it. Isn't it? It's all it will ever be. Because, what? I'm good looking? I have long legs? It's not what I want. Or need, I should say."

"And what do you need?"

"I… need… you."

Silence. Not the type of silence experienced by someone who had nothing else to say. Not the type experienced by someone who was uncomfortable. Just the type where someone realised something. And it was Gene who was doing the realising. His wife had left him not so long ago, and that had scarred him deeply. But then again he had seen it coming. It had been obvious, was bound to happen one day. He just never imagined it. Never thought that he could – _love _– again. It seemed like a strange thing for someone like the Manc Lion of all people to do, to feel. People thought that he didn't have feelings, but oh he did. He just kept them safe, locked away in the corner of his head. He main part of his mind had seen Alex Drake for the first time, wolf-whistled her amazing beauty. That was the part that wanted her. And bad. Wanted to… to do things that he couldn't even comprehend. That part wanted to have her, then leave. But then the little part in the corner of his mind popped up once, saw her, and needed her. He still wanted her, but didn't want to let her go afterwards. Wouldn't mind seeing her every day afterwards, maybe even for the rest of his life. And he'd never thought that she could possibly feel the same way… until now.

"Forever." He croaked.

"What?" Alex had bee daydreaming to, apparently.

"Forever?" He asked, piercing blue eyes directed straight at her.

"I suppose," She gabbled, surprised by his reaction. "Um… sure. Yes. But I really shouldn't do this."


	11. Chapter 11

_This is kind of a last chapter, just a little something to tie everything together - sort of. It needed closure. Thank you to all those who stuck through this fic! I didn't think so many would enjoy xxx_

Days passed.

Gene recovered rather too well, quickly escaping from the horror of the hospital and retrieving his post at the station, greeted by hordes of excited people who had missed his presence. Chris had pestered and pestered him, explaining his reasons for certain actions he'd decided upon, but Gene hadn't really been listening to his ramblings. It didn't matter now, did it? He was back. Ray had thrown a small 'party' that consisted of alcohol consuming amongst other 'manly' activities. Shaz had congratulated his return, promising never to unleash secrets from his office ever again. To her, it seemed like the whole thing had sprouted from then, but of course it hadn't. Everyone except Ray seemed to have a reason why it was there fault. Not that it could ever actually be Gene's fault – oh no, he was too good for that. But at least he was back, in charge and better than ever. In fact, everyone picked up the current mood he was in, and it was a good mood, but very different from usual. And no wonder, he was back in his territory, where he belonged. His office, which had been left untouched even by the cleaners, was awaiting him on his first day back. It was the first thing he did – sat at his chair and cracked open a bottle of whiskey, apparently not sharing. Got completely hammered that night in Luigi's. Bottle after bottle of not-so expensive wine, gulping down like it was only water. The others made their own celebrations whilst he sat in his usual corner, staring into the eyes of his usual companion.

Alex was the one person who's made his recovery so… well, fast. It was after her visit that he suddenly became perfectly fit for work. It wasn't so much what she had said to him – although that was amazing and would forever be stored in his short memory bank – but what she had done. Because of this, she didn't need to say or do any more once he was back in his comfort zone. Nah, everything was sorted now, done. Lesley Bourne got his sentence. Attempted murder on a police officer, not just that, a DCI. Well, he wouldn't be seeing his mates down the pub for a long time, that was for sure.

*****

Weeks passed.

"Well I dunno 'bout you ugly lads," Ray smirked, almost dancing into the office. "But I'm gonna be very busy tonight, I tell yer!"

"Why, what's going on, like?" Chris frowned.

"Me an' this bird from the bookies yesterday, _she _asked _me_ to go for a 'coffee'." He smiled as he sat down, nodding with pride.

"Very nice, Ray." Alex beamed, walking towards the white board to pin up some horrific images. "I told you, didn't I?"

As Ray began to explain in detail about his new fancy (using explicit words and creating images with his hands), Alex finished writing names on the white board and began a walk towards Gene's office. She needed to do something. She thrust open his doors, her entrance causing him to sit up straighter in his chair and clear his throat.

"What you want?" He asked, voice gruff.

"Just a little something." She sighed, closing the door gently behind her. They didn't see Chris and Shaz all watching in anticipation through the glass. "So… I wondered if I could tempt you with something."

"Hmm?"

"You see, everything is significant as I'm sure I've bored you with over the past few months. And I've been doing some thinking, and I know I've been slightly… well, not all there." She got closer. "But I have, as I said, been doing something thinking."

"Do want to untwist your knickers and get to the point?" he offered, leaning across the desk with a pout on his face.

"Alright!" She stopped. "Right, I just wanted to say that I, err, I've made a decision and I'm not sure if I should go through with it or not. I've said my goodbyes. Molly seems forever away, and that's exactly what you wanted."

"Forever…" Gene remembered his moment of weakness in that hospital, when the word had slipped out. "Yeah, alright, but can't you just go visit or something?"

"That's exactly the point." Alex mused. "Okay so here's my options. I can spend the rest of my time here miserable and hope against hope that I will one day return home, or I can make the most of it."

"You don't half talk rubbish, you know that?"

"This is me, making the most of it."

"Should send you to the loony bin."

"I'm giving in."

"That's great."

"Oh, trust me. It is."

At that moment, Alex leant across his desk and met his face, not giving him time to prepare as she planted her lips onto his. Just a second. A tease. A taste of what could possibly be in his future.

"If giving in is this good," Gene whispered. "I might as well quit me bloody job."

Soon enough, Alex was sat on his knees and she kissed away her problem, holding it's cheek with of her hands whilst the other wound around it's shoulders, playing with it's hair. The problem tasted good. So good. And soon the significance of life became all too clear. But she would not forget about her daughter. She was DI Alex Drake. She could handle two problems at once.

THE END x


End file.
